A CHANGE HAS COME

Caution: This article maybe a tab bit self involved

I used to love coloring my hair, experimenting with different colours of contact lenses, a cut here a cut there, a perm here a perm there....basically being anything but myself. Honestly i curled my hair twice, straightened my hair once, did a rebonding job once, coloured my hair like a gazillion times, pierced my ears till my lobes had no more space left, got a tattoo(a teeny weeny one). I was sorta like the Master of disguise for quite sometime(hiding from what exactly????beats me)...well i know there are loads more folk more extreme than me...but they are not the concern here its all about moi this time(this is my blog biatch).

Recently...very recently with more than a little help from my significant otherrrr (Eedhan Ashraf thats you baby) i have discovered that i look better as myself. With black wavy hair, dark brown eyes, bushy eye brows(doesnt sound too good..hhehe)......I've even come to enjoy wearing my hideous specs for cying out loud. Before there was no way anyone could drag me out without my colored contacts on(Pretentious, fake bitch) . But the new and improved Nisa couldnt care less.

I like being myself its cheaper, safer and less work...

Viva La Resistance

STOP

Growing up sucks!!!!really, it just sucks.....oooh i dream of a simpler time when mum and dad had to do all the worrying and i just had to carry on living...without a care. But life is so unfair without any warning it just snatches your innocense, your free time, your sleep, your virgnity...heheheh.

Sometimes i really wish i was born in the stone ages..yes i know there was no make up less choice of clothes no cd's or portable music players(i may have to rethink my statements). But no amount of handbags and gladrags compares to the luxury of freedom from employment. While the government is trying to put an end to the plague that is unemployment, with their "yes" campaign, i am fighting for it. A curse on the romans for inventing money and making people work for it. I only do it because it is the only way i can afford to satiate my yearning to shop and eat out. i mean who would really work if they didnt have a need to? does Paris hilton work..Well if you call making porn and trying make an aboslute whore of herself, yes she does work all night long..AAh remember the good ol days of having pocket money.....dang...

I for one have two jobs, one of which i aboslutely enjoy a 100%(cause theres not much effort involved)...that is except when i have to fill in for others. So i guess Artistes(including musicians and other talents) are exceptional cases cause they get paid for doing what they love.

NEWS FLASH..........Maumoon has rebuilt the Noah's Ark but this time its called the Youth Ship. Instead of carrying a pair of every living creature on earth, this "Youth Ship" or "floating Looney Bin" as i'd like to call it will carry on board the whackiest most immoral Individual from each Atoll. Well I just hope that they do not decide to blow the rest of us up and repopulate the earth by procreating from onboard the "FLB". Dont fret boys and girls I'll go and sink the ship with my own bare hands if i have to....but seriously we should all sign a petition begging maumoon to check himself into Guraidhoo before things get too out of hand....seriously a Youth Ship...What next the "Geriatric Lorry".......

GOD SAVE US

When life comes and kicks you in the nuts

Just save your if only's and buts

Close your eyes pretend nothings wrong

And sing another feel good song

(for you brother beequas)

Mwah mwah

Boohoo

Us girls are cry babies arent we....(i feel kinda fresh after a lil snob n sniff) but its really a spectacle when grown men cry. Mostly men either smoke it off, sleep it off, work it off or turn it into rage...........in the case of Kutty and wajeeh dance it off.


Btw this article does not apply to boys with a medical condition or those of yall who tend to tip on the happy and "gay side"(no offense) cos i know you ladies like to let it all out.


I think it is a rare, heartfelt and beautiful phenomenon. I mean how often have you seen a man cry? once in a year? 2 years? Shame on me, but i've lived with my two brothers since forever but i have only managed to make one of em cry(I will not name the brother but it wasnt abe oops!!). I accidentally hit his balls while trying to win an argument. (yes you are right in assuming i always resort to either violence or water works when trying to win an argument, thats why i cant run for President....the only reason hehehe.....right).


Getting back to the issue at hand, at times i cannot help but feel a strange sense of satisfaction when i see a stream of salty tears run down a supposedly emotionless wooden face(depending on the situtation though).


But boys!boys! taint cool to keep your feelings locked up let your boohoos out and you'll feel a lot better. Really! emotional baggage weighs you down in the long run.


Wait! no dont, i do not want to responsible for catalysing the effects of global warming. just imagine the amount of tears it will produce if all the men in the world who have their tears saved for all this time start weeping all at once. noooooooooooooooooooo........


Conclusion


So in conclusion i have yet again managed to waste about a mins or three mins (for slow readers) of your time..Uhahahahaha


i Miss you Noosh..mwah

EVERYBODY HURTS -REM

When the day is long and the night,
the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life,
well hang onDon't let yourself go,
'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong.
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone,
(hold on, hold on)If you feel like letting go,
(hold on)When you think you've had too much of this life,
well hang on'Cause everybody hurts.
Take comfort in your friendsEverybody hurts.
Don't throw your hand.
Oh, no. Don't throw your handIf you feel like you're alone, no, no, no,
you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life,
the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries.
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes.
So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts.
You are not alone

Lil Bangladesh

Aloha peeps, didja miss me?

Oooh i lurrve fridays i had so much fun...enough sleep, tanning and a dip in a blue lagoon with my baby.

But on Thursday night i had the most terrifying nightmare. There i was walking on a long stretch of road, when a faceless friend came on a motor bike. For some strange reason i asked my friend to let me have a spin on it. Strange you ask, well I dont even know how to ride a bike properly so its not the most natural thing for me to do. but hell! I'm talking about a dream so its all hunky dory. I got on it started driving, just enjoying myself until i took what was a wrong turn and ended up in a dark alley. Out of nowehere there appeared a bangladeshi guy there was no one around and the guy looked so creepy i started pushing the accelerator(in my dream the accelerator was the right pedal, in real life i have no idea). But everytime i looked behind to see if I'd lost the scarey stranger he was running right behind me. Suddenly the stupid bike stopped and the man was all smiles. He was reaching out to touch me when i woke up. I was so fucking scared my heart was racing.........the stupid nigtmare was almost too real. I had to be reassured a thousand times over by my baby before i could lay me down to sleep. It still makes me sick and gives me shivers when i think about the dream. Thank god i woke up when i had otherwise i might have had a permenant psychological effect.

If you follow my blog you might know i get dreams that materiliaze. (I am doing all i can to avoid this latest addition coming true....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek). but as i was walking to my boyfriends house (with my headphones on -let the music play remix) i found that i was an alien in my own home town. Beleive it or not but i was the only maldivian on the road. bangaldeshi's, tamils and Thai folk as far as the eye could see....

In the past foreign workers didnt have the balls to even look at us with bad intentions. Instead they were satisfied with holding hands with their co workers regardless of their gender(i just had to add that). but now since they outnumbers us they hoot and gape and drool and even beat themselves off in public.......................Seriously it wont be long before they start violating and raping us(there already have been cases). That would be the day i pack up and leave Male' for good.

And the saddest part is that theres no solution. More work sites and more development means more foreign employees. there is no proper screening process so we dont know how many child molesters, rapists and serial killers we are welcoming here with open arms.

Alas! i cannot write anymore my hands are giving up on me....

Ciao

DJ DAddy

Hey lovers and haters sista's and brothers, granmas and pas.....if you've seen the flyer for the GIGa whatever event thats gonna go down at "City Garden' you might be wondering:

DADDY? DADDY?

WHO THE FUCK IS DADDY?

("Who the fuck is Alice"-Torpedos)

Look no further i know who he is.......aha thats right i do. Normally i would try to get some remuneration for this kinda priviledged info but i'll be "nice" this time and let ya all know. And plus i think nobody should waste their time pondering over who daddy is n be like all excited(taint worth it) just to be hella disappointed..... i simply cant have that on my conscience.

You might think daddy is some whip lashing, Cat Walking, ass baring sexy diva who'll make you GIGA GAGA (more than a kilo Gaga), you are sadly mistaken. Life was so much more beautiful when i was mystified by who Dj Daddy was. but Alas ! woe is me, curiosity has shot me down yet again. I shall now save the whole world from suffering the same fate as me:

DJ DADDy

This aint no joke

he is that bloke

he aint no fuckin fairy

but he is very hairy

Now then, have it your way

Its DJ--PAiDay

Super Nisa's Inner Monologue:

Scene: flying over Male'

AAaaah I have saved the world yet again.......its a much safer place now.......All in a days work......I wonder whats next for me.........I cant choose between ridding the world from rebonding, wearing faggy shirts, burugaas.............

GUchigooogoooo PLONK......watch out you fuckin pigeons!!!!!!!!!

Note: You can buy the illustrated version from www.eyesore.com.mv

GOTcha

THE END

Love, Sweet Love

Valentines day is on the horizon and instead of seeing stars i am seeeing hearts. One might wonder why i am so excited for a christian celebration. I am all for the celebrations whether it be Christian, Buddhist, sikh or even scientology(I wonder what sort of days they have-chemistry day, I have to call Tom and ask). Its an excuse to party and make merry. Plus I really do have faith in the concept behind Valentines days. Bless you! Saint Valentine. Its a chance to celebrate "love" for crying out loud(Idy i love you).

For the first time in 23 years i have someone to celebrate Valentines with. Sorry bqwas, dad and abe you aint getting Valentines day cards from a very sad me. Infact i'll be floating in the air with the love of my life.

I have a thing or two to say at people who think that Valentines day is just another day. I mean yeah "Duh"it is obviously just another day. Just like Eid and New Years is just another day. It is the name we give to a 24 hr period. But since theres a clear label and theme to it why shouldnt we celebrate it. Well i know why some of us might be like "Valentines day ewww Crap", its b'cos theres nobody to celebrate it with beleive you me, i was there since forever. But i still sent out cards to all the men in my life, dad n the hunky sexy brothers of mine. You should get up offfa that couch and try it too (watching reruns of "Bridget Jones's Diary" aint gonna lift up your spirits at all)

Heres a lil heads up....DJ Manal is going to be setting your soles(yes the soles of your feet) on fire this Wednesday at Skippy. Guess who is going to be there on the dance floor dressed in red? Well me. And i want all of yall to come and celebrate "LOVE" with me.(Chikungunya, chicken pox, soar eyes, Bird flu, dengue and measles please leave Idy n me alone)

Heres my theme song for the night

Artist: Alanis Morissette

LyricsSong:Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love) Lyrics

birds do it, bees do it

even educated fleas do it let's do it,

let's fall in love

in spain, the best upper sets do

it lithuanians and lets do it let's do it,

let's fall in love

the dutch in old amsterdam do it

not to mention the finns folks in siam do it

think of siamese twins some argentines,

without means, do it

people say, in boston, even beans do it

let's do it, let's fall in love

romantic sponges, they say, do itoysters, down in oyster bay, do itlet's do it, let's fall in love

cold cape cod clams, against their wish, do it

even lazy jellyfish do itlet's do it, let's fall in love

electric eels, i might add, do it

though it shocks 'em, i know.why ask if shad do it

waiter, bring me shad roe. in shallow shoals, english soles do it

goldfish, in the privacy of bowls, do it

let's do it, let's fall in love

FOOD FUSS

It takes a lot of "BAD" food for a glutton like me to become aneroxic. But sadly this is the situation in Male'. Every godforsaken night i try and find something palatable to satiate my hunger and i end up puking afterwards.

DOLPHIN: I cant eat there ever since Manal had an "encounter at the counter" beleive me you dont wanna know the details. hint: futile attempt at homosexual multi-tasking.

LILY's: not the most desirable menu and the coffee is stale.

THAI-WOK: Used to do the trick for me but sadly the food there isnt as good as it used to be. the concept of quality control is still almost non existent over here.

LIGHT HOUSE: Its alright at light house, the desserts are desirable, but they do overuse some ingredients like spinach and Garlic on the main course which leaves and after taste and makes you gassy. LH is guranteed to get you good and broke and that never was good for anyone.

SALSA-CAFE'/ROYALE: really dissapointing/the portions are just sickeningly small.

WEST PARK: All i know is that its not the food that makes people go to West park. Sometimes i wonder if they have chefs in there. They prolly have trained monkeys working round the clock. Lolly Jabir you've gone and done it again.

FOOD GARDEN: I used to have an "8' oclock chicken leg rush" before which dragged me to food garden come hell or high water. Unfortunately the service there sucketh to the max now. There's no gravy to top the mash 'tatoes...the chicken is served blue not the best of ideas especially since the H5N1 virus is going around.

SEAGULL: You never know when some natural topping might drop from the sky...I aint kidding really....Bats have blessed me more than once......

JADE BISTRO: Its too damn pretentious and doesnt allow smoking. I hate going to places where i have to sit up straight and lower my voice.

In the end we're just left with the harbour points. At least you dont expect much from these dives, leaves no room for dissapointment...and ofcourse theres always Mamma's garudhiya and bai....

So GAWK...SPUUTEEERRR EWWW EWWW

CAN YOU FEEL THE BEAT

Backed by popular demand i am back again with a new post(Actually just b-qwas,Shiuna, Ameen and my honey bunny). This time I need a vote from all you people who read my blog: I wanna know if listening to music on the road is a "hazard" to yourself and the people around you or a an "Essential Accompaniment". One thing is certain i cant walk anywhere "alone" without my head set on.

Here are some plus points of using an mp3 player or I-pod on the road:

You can feel the beat and walk faster, it really seems like you get to where you're going sooner.

you can block out the whistling and hollering from the monkeys on the road

Stay in touch with your favorite artists.........learn the lyrics and stuff

Appreciate your surroundings, really, music adds a lot of colour to this droll place (try it and see)

REALLY KEEPS YOU GOING ON A LONG DAY

And here's the negative side:

You dont hear the vehicles honking behind you.(i've narrowly escaped from being hit by a car about 5 times). But this only applies to Maldivians because we do not have the luxury of pavements on some roads.

People can sneak up behind you very easily.

Music has the power of toying with your emotions so there is the fear of getting too sensitive for the rest of the world

And I've had people call me a "tight ass bitch" cos i dont holler back (I'd have to come down to earth first wouldnt i?)

And for the record I wouldnt have to write this article if life was a Hindi movie there'd always be an orchestra waiting to play a lil summin summin to fit my mood. heheheh

Anyway tell me what you think?

Much love