Once a Glutton always a glutton

All of those people whoever harbored any resentment towards my formerly slim figure can relax now and sleep in peace. I have officially gained back most of the kilos i lost with my intensive dieting. Its all good though, i feel so alive once more hehehe. beleive it or not just now one of my office mates looked at the picture on my id card and said i looked too lean back than and more attractive right now...Its hard to find clothes and at times fit in through narrow doorways but its just soo damn fulilling(literally) to eat without feeling guilty.

I am in no hurry to start dieting again becos there's no pressure. My boyfriend thinks my spare tyres are sexy and he doesnt complain about my XL bazoomas. Plus my non existent Ass is showing promise with the more fats i consume. hehehe

The pros out number the cons so i am sticking with the PHat...for now...who knows

I am back baby

(The picture is of my 3 month old nephew, yes a boy in a bikini...he looks good in anything!!)

Shaal if you are planning to come back home wearing a "Burugaa" you better think twice, becos you won't be very welcome. Ever since the bombing at Sultan park kutti Nasheed has vowed to remove all the burugaas in Male' and where them as a a gigantic skirt to hide his so obvious "pussy". Well anyways i also feel that one should better think twice before opting for more "fothi" cos things are just getting to be too damn expensive. The prices of everything from Onions to Taxi rides are increasing. Lets not even talk about the rent of houses...lord have Mercy!!!
Maybe its just me but i feel like the whole of the Maldivian Male population have been given a dose of oestrogen. Every where i turn i see some guy wearing my mums dhupatta as a shirt or eye liner and lip gloss. What happened to the Manly men who used to go fishing. No no no!! none of these gay suckers would dare pull a line, god forbid they might break a nail. Bangles, extensions, ear rings, nose rings and nipple rings are must haves in their wardrobes. i just can't help but feel these are signs of the end of dayz..brrr mama i still need to become a millionaire.
If you happen to walk on the road now you'll see two extremes. On one side the modest women covered from head to toe in black and on the other side bare naked ladies with their short skirts and tube tops. I have no problems with either but i thought it would just be worth mentioning. Maybe someone who reads this might have something to say about this.
I think i have officially given up partying not because i think everybody who goes to bounce tommmorow night are goin to hell but because i am sick and tired of having to see people passing out, throwing up all over the place, the new techno age"i can't stand the shit", The oohh look at what she's wearing looks, being thirsty and covered in sand.................

Well thats all i have to say today...
heheh
babye

She did it again!!

I beleive that god put me on this earth to heard, to be admired by young and old, to cover songs which need improvement!! Who am i you ask? I am Muneefa.........

Just like our friend Shanee Muneefa is one who beleives that she can sing...in public. We dont mind you singing in your shower, in your living room, to your family and loved ones. But please not for me not for the general public. I dont think we can evolve enough to be able to tolerate your voice or your style. Yes i have to reach a certain peak of irritation before i just cannot without blogging about a character. I dont go around dissing people for no reason, this is for the better good of everyone in this community right here.

I was Kind of like upto my kneck till last Friday, thats when the last straw was pulled. I guess you are all familiar with Mihandhaanugaa. Its a show where well known "singers" from Male' get up and do covers. Some twist and turn the songs so much they are hardly recognizable. Muneefa gave us the pleasure of singing a little something last year.... what was it?.... errm yeah Errrayy haada Rui mey(exactly the way i've written it). She did a really sexy version of a song which was written by someone following the tragic drowning of some of his family members. Yes Betty crocker says the best substitute for Sorrow is Sexiness. Just when i thought she couldn't top herself she went and proved me wrong...and she did one hell of a job. Do you all know the song: "Ley kokaalaa Malun Foni boneetho"that was the lamb she brought to slaughter..How it braighed, screamed and neighed. Looking like an absolute slut from Bangkok she started the song in a really deep voice. and the half way through did a little falsetto which was uncalled for. Yup this is entertainment!! raw crazy entertainment. She did a little speach before starting the song about how she always wanted to present something different to the Audience. Well my dear There's good different and theres horrible, unlistenable, painful different. You decide which different she was aiming for.

Well the best part is you can use it as an I-tune i think the ID is 2353

Why??

Why doesn't it rain when i want it to?

Today is the last day of a very long week and i can't wait for the clock to strike nisa "get up and leave". As i wait for the clock to move its slow ass hands it starts to rain. Shucks shucks and more shucks what good is rain today. I can't lie down with a book and cosey up in bed. I can't go out and do a little rain dance with my Umbrella(i've learned some moves from Rihannas music video). Rain why couldn't you have waited just one more day?? just another 24 hours. Tommorow is Friday and i can sleep to your sweet sound tap tapping on my window. But noooo you won't gimme that pleasure will you? Maybe i'll just resign and go home to enjoy this cold morning. Nope i wont becos i know you'll stop pouring down the minute i quit. That is just how you work and i will not give you the pleasure...absolutely not

Rain, I remember how you used to make it really difficult for me to get to school on the Final day. Everytime whether it be March, June or November i always had to wade through so much water to get to school on the final day. The next day or the first day of my school holidays there would not be a cloud in the sky and the sun would be shining in all its glory. Life is a test i know? but do i have to be tested so harshly...do i have to be tortured so...Sun why do you have to be so efficient? why can't you take some time off...say only from this direction. Honestly we are tired of being too close to equator ............now Gahir is here with the latest retaliation...i gotta G...O

Out with the Old

I watched FREINDS from beginning to end and admit that i enjoyed it somewhat. But i really don't know why some folks can't get over the show. Especially with the really crummy predictable ending...who would've thought that Ross and Rachel would get back together and live happily ever after. Its not like they have a child together or something..oh no wait!! they do dont they??!!.I lost my real interest in friends when i discovered that they had a lot of borrowed material from my all time favorite comedy show Seinfeld. in comparison FRIENDS doesnt even come close to Seinfeld in terms of originality or acting. Well its no big secret that the appeal behind FRIENDS was the attractive cast. its Human nature to be attracted to things that are symmetrical and beautiful. Girls from this superficial day and age (including me) really look forward to seeing the latest hairstyle on Rachel(Jennifer Aniston) and the funky jewellery modelled by Phoebe(Lisa Kudrow). FRIENDS comes in a very pretty package i guess thats why most people can't get enough of it. I saw this group in FACEBOOK where grown men come and laugh about old jokes quoted from friends. Gimme a break guys i am fasting, do you have to be this lame? do you? Some jokes like the stuff from friends can only be funny ones. Plus there is a lot of background that usually leads to the joke. So when it does not apply to your situtation it is just painful for people like me, i am being really serious here.

I mean Cmon i was totally in love with Sex and City and hated to see it come to an end. But i am over it now and sure hope as hell it doesnt come back again. Why? you ask. Well because most of em are over forty and not very sexy anymore even after extensive surgery and designer wear. but i have overheard people at coffees talking about friends imitating them and oh my gawwwwwwwwwd.... i think i am losing it. This always happens to me when my fellow Maldivians like something too much..Once upon a time Lady in Red was a beautiful ballad but now its just like over chewed gum you just wanna spit it out....Umbrella is going to sink faster than the Titanic in my charts too if i dont stop hearing it all the time. Its really hard for this society right here to accept something new. Once in a blue moon we get an update and we hold onto it and bleed it try. till the vultures won't even come close to the remains...I am just sick and tired of this whole friends craze and the rest of the stuff thats reached the cult status here, ye know like Maroon five(blech), Savage garden(oomph), Asha bhosle(eeeek), and oh my lord the infernal ALI ZEE(choke,gasp. drop dead!!!)................................................................

Saleem with the Pretty Name

Its been soo long maybe too long since i wrote on my blog. Since Minister Nasheed with all his responsibilities(brushing his hair and sitting on his ass) has time to update his blog i should too. I'll take another chance to write about Nasheed but this time the focus is on the one the only "Nanreethi Saleem". Don't get me wrong guys but i am not trying to be the least bit political. Although i may tip a little over to the side where Maumoon is not on i am not all for MDP either. I am on the side of right(meaning my best interests). But you can bet your ass and Gonads that i will never support IDP and Adhaalath party. Those two Parties will be the end of us. Already the Indians have mentioned us being a part of some bomb attack. Pretty soon they will start killing all the women who do not wear burugaas. I am a Muslim flesh and blood but i will never support Muslim extremist they are no better then Nazi's. I am sure god will not have any space for them haters in heaven. God from Kutti Nasheed to hell how did i get here??? i was supposed to be writing about the Human Rights commissioner. AAaah to hell with this paragraph let us try again on the next one.

Nanreethi Saleem really knows his human rights. If he does not want to respect other human beings that is his right, right?? He can only hold up a decent conversation for 2 Min's before he gets off track and into thilhai and nagoo balhaa mode. He almost said "Nagoobalhun" at some people on TVM hehehe way to go Mr. human rights commissioner. To get on peoples good side he has devised a full proof plan which is..tada tadatada blaming the Police. You know how everybody hates the police. Mr. Nanreethi forgets at times that even though they are trained to bust your asses(god bless them) they are still human and have their rights as well. Just the other day there was this instance where a bangaalhee was tied up in chains inside their quarters. This loon went and blamed the cops saying it was police brutality. Well it just so turned out that one of the workers stepped up and took responsibility for the wrong doing. What business would a cop have inside a bangaalhee head quarters anyway (except for the occasional gay rendezvous) My mum told me that it was against Saleem's better principles to ever respect anyone well except for Maumoon who puts food on his plate. So the next time you see Nanreethi Saleem you can spit on him, why? because it is your human right to be able to spit on scum.

A Human rights activist should:

1- Be a Human (not half snake)

2- Be able to empathize starting with a simple smile

3- Have balls- which i doubt he has

4-Brush his teeth(look closely at the picture I have posted)

5-have eyebrows- because it is just scary not to have them(i could give him some of mine)

Note: notice that the flowers seem to be almost wilting in his presence....urrgghh my skin crawls

He does not fit even one of the above criteria so lets bring the bugger down......heave hoooo

Think about it-" wink"," wink"," wink"

Sugar ohhh honey honey

Sugar is here!! although it wasn't easy, the doc had to cut hidhy open and drag him out. All those pregnant mummy's out there, word of advise IGMH isn't the most advisable place to give birth. It took them two days to decide on whether to operate on my sister in law and by the time sugar was bored and his heart beating had slowed down to 50 beats per minute. Thank god he reached our hands safely. We are hopefully going to name him Mohamed Kian Saif, that is if the name is approved by the Islamic committee. My brother dear is a father now and i am the proud Aunt of a nephew for the first time...i have two extra cute neices already and also one more nephew on the way. Kian is so soft smooth and squisshable........i am also the god mother and my baby darling I-dhee is the godfather