I-Nisa

Youth TV makes me wanna be old!!

2010-03-21T00:34:00.000-07:00

I swear to god i am ashamed to be categorized with the Youth of Maldives ever since they started to air Youth TV. Since I work in the same building and basically the same industry I am all for new beginnings and new ideas but Youth Tv started all wrong and is now a national disaster.
First off they hired inexperienced, unqualified teenagers off the road and made them the producers of Youth TV. Where is the sense in this??? I am pretty sure that Kermit the frog does not produce Sesame street and Sponge bob does not own Nickelodeon. Newsflash!!! it does not work that way. A TV channel has to have more than a handful of "responsible" adults to run it. TV and radio these are the places that people turn to, to find out about the latest music, the artists but these people do not know the first thing about music. They don't follow the charts so what the hell are they going to talk about on a live request show??!! Absolute and utter crap....One minute the presenter will be talking in english and the other in dhivehi. Could you please decide on what language to use..please it just gets on my last nerve when these bimbos and himbos come on TV and can't Talk in english or dhivehi. I don't know where Quality Control and Professionalism went. Wait a minute there wasn't any to start with.
Every minute you waste on a TV channel is money being drained out of the government. Instead of trying to shut down the Am channel do something about Youth TV. It is rather unfair how MNBC gives all the support and rescources available to Youth TV and RFM. If I didn't know any better I'd say that they are out to make the Youth of the Maldives mindless imbeciles!!If you ask me right now the channels slogun should be Fools for Fools!! instead of Youth for Youth!!

SMILE

2010-03-10T22:05:00.000-08:00

It used be very confusing for me why some people found it so hard to smile. Why i thought? when its so easy. Research suggests that people who smile more age less. As I grow older i find that circumstances make it hard for some people to lift their cheeks up. Its really not worth the effort for people who have nothing to smile about. It is not because they want to show the world how miserable they are or make everyone else around you cry with pity. When everything around is you is falling apart its hard to push it back and smile like nothings wrong. Most of the miserable people you see are not really frowning at you they are probably lost in thought and trying to make sense of it all.
Can you smile when your son is dying? Can you smile when you can't afford the bare essentials? Can you smile when your dreams are dying? You might at times but its not easy for everyone. Having faith helps a lot in times of distress. But once again its hard to keep it together when everything is falling apart. So think twice before you judge that old woman on the road who refuses to smile. (Tell it to yourself nisa you judgemental fool)

Confessions of a Foodaholic!!!

2010-03-07T00:31:00.000-08:00

I come from a long line of fatties. My granpa was a fatty my granma on my mums side is round, my mum has a (clearing throat) generous figure my dad was a piggy. So please do not expect me to maintain my weight. It is so fucking hard!!! Losing weight is a piece of cake (food reference=piggy) for me but keeping it that way is the problem. I am not into exercise but i could jog if i wanted to. Problem is do i want to?? Mostly i am pretty comfortable with my body....but on special occasions it gets hard when I can't fit into a decent dress.
Food gives me so much pleasure. At times i eat even after i get full. Food brings idy n me closer...thankfully its not the only thing we have in common heheh. Right now the button on my jeans is pressing really hard on my tubby tummy...cos i ate a burger and fries plus coke for lunch....and i have no more energy left to type plus i gotta get back to work....since it is what i am supposed to be doing..
Ciao

I don't beleive in 6 hrs of sleep!!

2010-02-24T02:25:00.000-08:00

I really can't do with six hours of sleep. It simply is not enough for me. I have a lazy ass brain that refuses to function unless I have enough sleep and by enough i mean more than 7 hrs. Which brings me to the conclusion that the optimum amount of sleep depends on the individual.
Lets isolate Anni for example: At the most i believe he sleeps about 2 hrs every other day. At times I don't get him at all. I read an article once that said successful people like Donald Trump and Bill Gates do not sleep unless it is absolutely necessary. All my hopes of becoming a millionaire/President came to a tragic hault after reading the stupid article. Now i am on a quest to find successful personalities who sleep a lot. I need to prove the article wrong by all means. The sad truth however is I still haven't found a single person who fits.
Alas!!!I am doomed and destined for failure.....well maybe a little success

Valentine Vandetta!!!

2010-02-13T19:47:00.001-08:00

Why do people insist on criminalizing the celebration of love? Why can't Valentines day be for us? If We aren't supposed to celebrate today, will you please make another "lovers" day for us? please Sheikh Fareedh. Fuck that I already know that it aint no sin to celebrate Valentines day because there is no verse anywhere that states, "Thou shall not celebrate Valentines day".

Let me tell you a few reasons why I believe Valentines day should be celebrated:
It brings people together
Its good business for Chocolate vendors, Restaurants, Bakers, Florists, Gift shops and Boutiques
It rekindles the love between two individuals
It does not harm anyone
It does not involve any special Christian prayer
You do not have to run around naked to celebrate Valentines day
You do not have to sacrifice a new born to celebrate Valentines day, to name just a few.

I believe in all holidays and celebrations hell I would celebrate "Pongal" if i could (that's the Tamil New year).
I pray five times a day and try to be the best Muslim I can........but Sheikh Fareedh I'm Still a lover....don't be hating.......

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL OF YALL...ESPECIALLY TO MY DAD(RIP) AND IDY

Note: Just look at the Goddamn picture and tell me if it aint worth celebratin!!!

JINNI (I didn't hate it)

2010-02-02T11:45:00.000-08:00

There I was on the first night of February on my way to watch a dhivehi film for the very first time on big screen(and secretly telling myself this would be the very last time). I just wanted to share a few laughs with Rynu and co and honestly i didn't think i'd make it past the break. The horror flick was supposed to be, believe it or not 3 whole hours long. 2 hrs of action and 1 hr of songs so what'd you expect me to think. Fathaah the director never fails to amuse me with his ever evolving head of hair. Just two months back it was silky smooth and now its like a bleached dry mop thats been left in the sun for two long. Just when i was about to reach the fourth step on Olympus(not to be confused with Mount Olympus) lo and behold there he was the director, editor and producer of the movie "Mashoor director Fathaah". When you read this story you have to remember that the Maldivian film industry is still in the 1800's. Back in those days you'd find struggling directors waiting outside the theaters to see if everything is in order. I'm guessing he was the only one who had the golden copy of the newly released movie and he didn't want it to fall into the wrong hands(you can never be to careful, good thinkin there). Fathaah had shiny drops of excitement on his face(better than gross man sweat) was walking out so fast probably to elude the wild paprazzi outside(Yes MR. QT you've got competition near the equator).The sight of him made me want to go into the cinema and find out just how much he had managed to violate himself. So there I was sitting in an unbelievably uncomfortable chair sweating bullets cos i had worn a long sleeved top. I had completely over looked the fact that Olympus just like the movie industry was from the 1800's therefore no air conditioning. And then the Bell rang trrrrrrrrrrrr.

The sound was horrible first bad point noted. How could the sound be any good at a theater from the dark ages. Oh yes and so began the movie.........first a lot of crying which made me wanna get up and leave but as it went on...............I never thought I'd say this but Seexan is a seasoned actor now, Amira if that is her name is not bad either and the rest of course leaving Afeefa were not half bad. in fact some of em were very bare able. Afeefa!! if i had any credibility in the movie industry i would tell you to stick to the back ground scenes, preferably as a tree. Seeing as no amount of make up or costumes seem to make you look like a star. I am not being mean but i have to critical of actors cos you guys are just so in the face. Overall i would give the movie 6/10 and i might even consider going to a dhivehi movie again someday...maybe next year!Or maybe right after they install air conditioners.

I can't figure them out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-30T12:22:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking in, outside and around the box and I still can't find out what makes them tick. Cmon you know who i am talking about, its them "gangsters". Well i don't know if real gangsters would want me to call em that. Would a self loving gangster wear skinny jeans and suck on glow stick lolly pops?you tell me. I know its all the rage but I still don't think whoever invented skinny jeans for men was aiming for straight men.

Okay let me list down the "BAydu" stuff they do:

Slashing people with kitchen knives (hard to smuggle in swords and it does the job)

Drug Pushing, dealing, doing,..........

Pimping

Dangerous driving

Disturbing the peace and hooting (although i have immunity around these parts)

Introducing minors

Normally anyone caught doing all of the above would be considered a criminal, bad seed or gangster but before drawing a conclusion lets look at the oddities:

Numero Uno Skinny Jeans

Glow stick lolly pops

Eyeliner

Artifically straightened hair

Extensions (I am not very sure of this one, but its up for effect)

Writing love songs

Late night phone calls to setu kuraa girls (Wouldn't it be more gangstarrish to just propose at gun point or just rape the girl- not giving ideas just pondering )

Getting tipsy with one drink of Vodka... just to name a few

So you see why I am confused about these Public Enemies....I guess all of it combined is a desperate cry for attention. Sadly the only attention they are gonna end up getting is from the Warden at Dhoonidhoo or Feydhoofinolhu.

HAPPY 2010 HOPE THIS YEAR I'LL HAVE MORE TIME TO SPEND WITH MY BLOGGY WOGGY!!

MAJLIS MATCH-UP

2009-08-07T05:40:00.000-07:00

It is a Historical day over here in the Maldives, perhaps even around the world. For the first time ever in the history of Football, parliament members are going to play a football match....for charity. Could we be anymore fun loving?? i don't think so. In the past parliamentarians may have sponsored there fair share of football clubs but physically playing in one..it is definitely a first. I foresee bleeding noses, broken ribs, sprained ankles and maybe a heart attack or too. It is definitely going to be fun to watch the match...no doubt about it.
I wonder who the man of the match is gonna be..i think it'll be either Mahloof or Maria they both look fit enuff to win the spot.
In other news Jangiyaa Nazim may have given himself an "atomic Wedgy" one he can't get out of that easily. I know you know what I'm talking about...
gotta go fellas TATA

Tooo long!!

2009-07-30T05:35:00.000-07:00

It has been too long since my last post!! I can't imagine I've kept away from my lovely little outlet for so long....I wonder why? Not too long ago i remember my Oh so wise brother telling me that being too satisfied leads to loss of creativity. Of course i dismissed his theory at the time but now i am starting to wonder if he was in fact right. I used to produce more than three programs a week and blog all of the time hmmm is my marriage to blame for this sudden blockade on my creativity vents? Should i break a leg...i mean literally? hahaha the other reason could be cos i've quit my day job at Asa Travels, thats where I always blog. Its hard to write at home with my poopoo peeking at my work all of the time.
I couldn't get a ticket for the event of the year..the return of the Olympians(nope i aint talking about Olympic atheletes but a hit Maldivian music band that made huge waves in the 70's and 80's). I saw some of it on the news and it looked better than i expected from where I was standing. Although some of the singers were a bit out of tune from being stowed away for so long. A big thank you to our Darling president for making it happen.
Aaaaaaaaah well...these days i have two jobs that don't offer a weekend!!! Can't have it all...love yall i will be posting verrrrry verry soooon...
Oh and yes i watched "Watchmen" and it was HElla good for me....
Salaam

The Construction Site

2009-03-29T21:56:00.000-07:00

No matter where I go I can't escape the sound

Of constant construction work, banging all around!!

The smell of wet wood wax on the floor

Or the hinging and Unhinging of a door

The dust and fumes are making me sick

I can't stand the sight of another brick

Its a real concrete jungle out here

Buildings coming up in full gear

I need some peace and quiet please

Oh!! will this clutter ever seize

Tell me what do my friend

I don't beleive this will ever end

I guess I'll have to fly away

If I want to find some peace today

God!! send me an all expense paid trip

Or else one of these days I will surely flip

I hate all this noise its killing me

Mute the construction and set my ears free

Amen!!

(I hope greenday performs this song-a girl can dream can't she?!!)

System Overload!!"Evince Model 2009"

2009-03-27T21:43:00.000-07:00

Where do I begin? the whole affair is disastrous from the make up to the lame-ass judges and don't even get me started on Susan errgh.

Well lets start with what i like about the show(cos trust me its not a lot). I like the cute little dresses the burugaa woman(no offense but i don't know her name) stitches. The tops, skirts and dresses are very upto date. Mm then what?? Oh yeah!! I also like the fact that somebody made an effort to actually hold such an event...but they should have put more thought and work into it....if you're gonna do something, do it right!!!

Next up, Nizam!!

I think everybody who is commenting about the show on facebook is mistaken. Nizam is not trying to be Simon, or even if he is, he looks more like Miss Jay from Americas next top model..Honestly!! the resemblance is uncanny, give him a flowered hat and some lipstick, Voila!! you've got the fabulous Miss Jay!! Note to Xee:"if i were you I'd do something about Nizams eyebrows and his constant sweating,Gross!!"

Xee

Xee is a pretty girl...............well thats just it. Her makeup is average, her hairstyles are always the same and her comments are not useful in anyway. If you are an authority on something, or pretending to be one in this case you have to be very sure of what you say. You don't have to ask the audience if you are right or not..With Xee its like "thihen hedheema hadi dho? Varah Salhi dho". Even if her appearance is pretty polished the rest of her is as unsophisticated as the models. She showed just how uncultured she is on the last episode of Evince Top Model when she told Suzan that she looked better than Tyra Banks. For shame!! Tyra banks!! the Supermodel who has modelled for all the major labels in the world and who has appeared on the cover of all the major fashion magazines. Well okay lets keep aside Tyra's fame and fortune for one second and compare the two.

Tyra Banks:

Height: 5'11

Measurements: 34-28-40

Suzan whatsisname:

Height: 5'2 at the most

Measurements: 29-25-32(give or take)

readers you be the judges and tell me if Suzan will ever be in the same league as Tyra Banks??the nerve.

Beauty is subjective what is beautiful to me may not appeal to you but you don't diss Tyra on a show about modelling!! Its like Nuzeiru telling Juwairiya on a cookery show down that she is a much better cook than Nigella. So Xee get your facts straight before becoming a judge on TV. Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson have their own labels too but no one will have them as judges in a show..heheh..If you have money to burn you can open up boutiques and Salons all over Male' but it doesn't make you an authority on Fashion..Na-uh!!

Kiram

Kiram may have been photographing bitches and ho's in Male' since god knows when. But where are his accolades? has he photographed anyone for an international fashion magazine. There is a fat lot of difference between a "photographer" and a "Fashion photographer". I just don't think that Kiram is or can be a fashion photographer. I beleive he is too lecherous to be one...How can you work with female models if you can't keep your dick in your pants??there is a certain something called professionalism which he needs to identify with if he wants to ever become a "Noted Photographer". As for his constant hand gestures: his hands are like a defense mechanism. You can see the lack of confidence in his eyes, if you touch his hands they are probably Ice cold, so inroder to overcome his fear or to disguise it he uses his hands(but i can still see it). Moving back to his insatibale apetite for women, Xee and him may have something going on behind the judges booth. Nizam and Kiram have about 5 inches space between them but Xee and Kiram are stuck together. I guess Kiram is scared that Nizams inner Miss Jay might emerge at anytime.That would scare any man!!

Suzan has never modelled on any of the shows in Male', she has never won any challenges related to fashion, for all i know she hasn't studied fashion and apparently she hasn't been watching fashion Tv that much either..So why is she the right person to host the show?(how lame it might be!!) it beats me. I could do the job as well, i have the same creds, I have never modelled, (oh just that one time for Karl Lagerfeild-but i dont' like talking about it), I never studied fashion..but..Oh now I see why they didn't ask me to do it. I watch a lot of reality shows and I could probably do a better job than Susan., it makes sense now. Referring to yourself as a second person, Honey!! you are so out of your mind. I still am reeling over the fact that she said,"Aharen Tyra ah vaan beynun bama onanee mihaaru vefa ey". I mean," What the Fuck"? Who are you?...Tyra would laugh her ass off if she heard that comment(fact is she will never hear it because face it, Real models don't live in our world). So "Humble" down Sweetheart!!

Damnit I have so much to write but I don't have anymore time!! Gotta get back to work..

love ya

xoxoxox

Top Ten Movies out this Year

2009-03-04T22:11:00.000-08:00

10. What Lies Beneath My Beard

This movie stars Sheikh Abdul Majeedh Abdul Baree and Zakeebe

The Storyline:

Sh.Abdul Majeedh Abdul Baaree is disturbed by a little man who has come to inhabit his unkempt beard. The only way out for him is to trim it and suffer eternal damnation...

9-Nashath and Adhil make a Porno

This movie stars Nashath and Adhil Saleem

The storyline:

This movie is based on a true story and is about a couple who unwillingly become the producers and cofounders of the Maldivian Porn industry.

8-What menopausal women want!!

This movie stars Maumoon Abdul Gayoom and a truck load of Menopausal women

The storyline

It is a about a "menopausal babe" magnet. The women become so infatuated with this particular man they start sending him nude pictures, writing songs and even offering their wrinkly body's to him to do as he willed. The movie is aimed at high school kids.

7-Honey! I blew my son in Law

This movie stars Abdullah Hameedh and his ex son in Law.

The storyline

A comedy based on a real life event...A man gets caught giving a blow job to his son in law........well he has some major damage controlling to do (Partial Nudity)

6-Dr Mavota and Mr.Sharyf

The movie stars Mavotaa Shareef

The storyline:

It is about a man who suffers from acute bipolar disease and schizophrenia...it is about his struggles and how he only means well in everything he does. Also why people like him are always misunderstood

5-No Country for Bald Men

The movie stars: Saabe, Adil Saleem,Giyaz,Abdullah Shahid,Ijaa, ADK Nashid

The storyline:

The movie is about Bald men from all walks of life, in the Maldives. What they have to go through in their every day lives. How much abuse and insults they have to face.....

4-L- Word the movie

The Movie stars: Fathin Hameedh and Azima Shakoor plus Suneetha

The storyline:

The Movie is about the secret love affair between two prominent figures in the Maldivian political scene. Word has it that Suneetha was included to attract more viewers as she is relatively easier on the eyes....

3-I knew everything last Summer

Starring: Ibraa

The storyline:

It is about a man who beleives he knows everything. He does not beleive that anybody else knows anything. The movie is serious and comedic at the same time.The sequel to the movie "I still know everything, this Summer" will come out late Summer 2009.

2-The incredible Bulk

Starring: Bandu Muiz

The storyline:

It is about a man who literally ate his way into the Maldivian Justice system ultimately becoming the prosecutor general of the Maldives.The police had had to scan his tum tums to find some of the missing case files....

1-Around the World in 14 days

Starring: H.E President Anni, Ziyattey

The storyline: It is about a restless man who refuses to stay put until he has made a trip around the world. Ziyattey plays the part of passportu his trusty side kick. They only "things" getting in Anni's way are the slow assed body guards. Watch it to find out what he does to overcome the hurdles....Oh and the last of the Mohicans starring Ziyatey will come out later this year.

Dexter I knew you'd never fail me!!!

2009-02-28T23:54:00.000-08:00

Last season it was that darned woman who i thought was going to be the end of my love affair with the dark defender but thank god it was not meant to end that way. In the end that aneamic witch was killed by Dexter Morgan himself...Sweet!!

This time it was ten-fold more depressing then the last season because here was a man not just any man but Miguel Prado ready to accept dexter with all the blood on his hands. Prado almost had Dexter thinking he could have a friend, live outside his code and question his dads teachings. I've always been obsessed with serial killers and Dexter was like a godsend for me. The mere thought of the series moving in a more human direction really disturbs me. However after the 11th episode I can safely relax, even before that right after Miguel murdered Ellen Wolf (You have to kill someone innocent to fit dexters code)I knew he'd end up on dexters chopping board.

Now i am waiting for Bit Torrent to finish downloading the season finale, somehow i know its not going to dissapoint me.

A few weeks back umm i was wondering what my thing was...everybody has a thing right....my brother has movies...my husband has animals.....don't be scared but Serial Killers are my obsession...they are my thing...i read about them all of the time. I am fascinated by the atrocities they commit how they think.....!! I know enough about serial killers to know that there are no Dark defenders out there. Unless you are a soldier in the army you don't kill to protect or defend. You have to be really twisted to be able to take someone elses life(no matter what he has done), wash your hands and start making dinner. It really does not work that way.

Just Shoot me!!!

2009-02-23T19:36:00.000-08:00

I know I've been away from my blog for far too long. Its true what people say about marriage, the whole feeling complete bit takes the creativity out of you and so please excuse me if my posts aren't the same.

Well anyways the reason why i really had to write on my blog today is the Oscars. Nope I do not want to drool over the beautiful vintage gown that Penelope Cruz wore or how ridiculous Beyonce looked in her golden vase costume. "Slumdog Millionaire" that is what has been bothering me. Does it deserve so many awards and especially for the direction? I admit that I haven't been around to watching all the movies that came out in 2008. However i did watch both Slumdog and dark Knight and beleive you me Slumdog Millionaire was just average in comparison. The funny thing is i am listening to "Let it Be" right now, sorry Paul i just can't let it be. There is something fishy about this whole affair i can smell it all the way here. Already the Indians are pretty upset about the whole negative attention. It is just so disturbing to find out that every single thing, every event is politically motivated and downright durrttyy.

"Slumdog Millionaire" the story was average, the direction was average, the acting was very average when you compare it to the likes of Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet, I admit the music was good....AR i am a big fan. Next year I'm sure they are going to make a movie about China and hand over 20 Oscar awards. Would it be just too much to ask to make the Oscars about the movies alone.

You know i was fine with the whole "Ugly needs a push" deal. Let me explain, Nic Cage, Adrien Brody have both won Academy awards. Brad Pitt no, Johnny Depp no, why? its pretty simple lookers like Brad and Johnny they don't need a faceless gold man to push them up the ladder. It's a fact that no matter how many awards Adrien Brody gets or how many stunning women he smooches on stage he will never get as much media attention as Brad Pitt(I am willing to bet my new and hand bag on it). So don't be disheartened if you never see them on the receiving end.

I feel so much better now that I've got that off my head wooohooo.

Happy New Year Yall!!

2 Years!! Woohoo!!

2008-11-13T03:07:00.000-08:00

Oh my fucking God!! its been two years since i hooked up with my sweetums. I can't beleive it. The best part is that we both forgot and luckily I just remebered at 3.00 in the morning why the moon was so breathtakingly bright. I'm not kidding it was a full moon last night, Thank you God.
I was convinced 2 years ago that i was incapable of being in a relationship for more than a week. Now I know that i just had to find the right person....Idhy!! I will never ever judge anyone especially not myself ever again. I thought I had myself all figured out and now look I am actually getting married on the 22nd of December and it doesn't even scare me, no sir, not one bit.
I actually have some advise for single girls and boys. Do not beleive for one second that you are just one of those people who are mean't to stay single and promiscuous. How many Old men and women do you see, childless and never married, very few. So sooner or later you, yes you are going to get tied down.
If you want your relationship to last, here are some pointers:
You should learn to give in at times but not always
Have a shit load of patience
Be less selfish and stop living just for your self
Accept that you can't be the same person you were when you were single after hooking up with someone for good.(It might sound sucky but its true and not that bad)
Oh my god!! I am giving advise hehehe GREAT!!!
ITS My ANNIVErsary.....2 Years baby

A light in the Dark Knight!!!

2008-09-24T21:44:00.000-07:00

Hollywood no doubt keeps getting better, getting better all the time. Why I finally got to watch the Dark Knight last night and it touched me and wowed me like never before. Everything about the movie was Hellagood from the actors to the props to the storyline it was all too good. Christian Bale, Heath ledger (Rest in Peace was just too good) and Morgan Freeman were on top of their game.

The Voice: Finally the Guru's in Hollywood have realized that just by wearing a mask Bruce Wayne aint fooling no one. A public figure like him would have to disguise a lot more to deceive the people of Gotham. The movie does not explain how he does it but BatMan sounds nothing like his alter ego.

The Girl: At first I was kinda dissapointed that they had cast Maggie Gyllenhall as the leading lady but later on I discovered that they had their reasons. If they had cast someonelike Eva Mendez they'd be moving the focus away from the real issues at hand. Plus I don't see anyone getting dissapointed over losing a Kirsten Dunst look alike. Wasn't she just too easy to let go? mwahaha so thats another point for the Dark Knight.

The Joker: The Joker was portrayed like never before in the movie. Heath Ledger showed us just how much of a crazed lunatic the twisted clown is. From the flipping of the hair to the movement of the tongue it was just how it should have been. Heath Ledger certainly gave us all a performance of a life time before leaving. He has reason to celebrate from beyond the grave.

So in short I really! really! utterly! completely enjoyed the movie... waiting for a good copy to come out was really worth it.

My Laporoscopy

2008-08-30T21:47:00.000-07:00

You have a huge ass dermoid cyst in your Ovary...
What!!!!??
Yep its big and if you don't operate on it you might have to lose an ovary.
Oh God no!! I can't have that, oh! no no I have to spread my seeds.
So I'll book you in for leproscopy tommorow, is that ok?
Yup whatever knock yourself out..
The world seemed to be spinning kinda fast and i could hardly grab on for dear life. Next thing I knew I was in a funky hospital gown (I kinda liked it although i don't wanna imagine who might have used it before). Since I hadn't done an advanced booking I had to chill in the ward till i got a room. I couldn't chill out for long you see there suddenly appeared a lil nurse who wanted to shave my whole off limits area. Thankfully she seemed to have shaved enough patients to avoid making it a nightmare. vrooom i was wheeled off tomy bed again but within no time the crew who would takeme to the operating room appeared. I was too nervous and the clock was ticking too fast to give me enough time to get scared. They changed me into another more accesible gown and wheeled me off. My baby bunkaroo walked with me to the lift which was as far as he could go. That was when i couldn't help but cry... Suddenly it dawned on me in full force that i was alone in this. It was just me and the cyst.
There I was at the door of the theatre where they would drill into me. Tamil or Malayali Fm was on and the doctors were singing..I was praying for them to keep singing and filling up forms but within a few minutes i was on the operating table..The aneasthetic doc asked me whether i was scared....yeah duh i thought but i didn't express my sentiments out loud because in a matter of seconds my life would literally be in his hands. Instead I told him that i was just afraid of any pain. Like any good doctor he told me that there was nothing to get all worked up about the only pain i would feel would be the canola going in...but thank god the stupid thing did not hurt at all....within a few seconds Nisa would be dead to the world for 4 freaking hours..
When I woke up I was in the ICU cyst free my boyfriend and mum were by my side and i was freezing to death with a gas mask on my face.....
Quite an experience...next stop labor or cesarian..

Dream on!!

2008-06-19T00:03:00.000-07:00

I really do not want to be labelled a super hero or super human (in all modesty) but try as i might i can't run away from the hands of fate. I can't fly, I can't teleport or do anything flashy but its my dreams. They just keep coming true. Its kinda scarey when you dream of a tragedy and it comes to life. I can't help but feel responsible for it. What should i do with this power??? The only way i can run away from it is to stay awake 24/7 and that aint happening, no sirrreee!!! i need to preserve my looks....heheheh

Should i call 1-800-profx? Should i start designing my super hero outfit??heheh hmm well i guess that is something i could do....Since my power has to do with sleeping and dreaming maybe i should wear silk jammies or a sexy red negligee(that way people are really gonna take me seriously). I could wear a pillow on my back so that when the time comes I can doze off and get my mind working, anytime, anywhere!!!

I'll just leave all the dirty work to Super man, Batman and all the other freaks. Hmm this power is turning out to be really Cool..

Should i wear crimson, black or white?.....better get to the drawing board..cheerio

Go Dave Cook!!!

2008-05-22T05:21:00.000-07:00

Well an Americna Idol is born again and its not the small fag but the bigger talented more appealing rocker, David Cook!! So what does this really prove? It goes to prove that there aren't enough homo's in America. I bet all of them cast their votes for the cherry lipped boy wonder. If that was not enough they imported George Michael and his wife(maybe husband, don't ask me) just to add a few more votes for Archileta. Yet the majority seems to be heteros...well good. Oh and by the way I am not against gay people not at all..love em cos they are so fab. So do not jail me up for commiting a hate crime.

Meanwhile the Maldivian Police is closing down all the Brothels in Male'. Out of the blue the boys in blue are concentrating all of their energy on ridding Male' of all sluts. A little tip guys: Check Sea House, Candies, Dinemore Garden, Skippy and Marble you'll find em in every corner.

The End of another week YAAAAAAAay can't wait to get back home and get a little quality shut eye...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ all the way

I love you Idhy!!

Signed with Love

Nisa

!!!confused!!!***

2008-05-11T00:51:00.000-07:00

Umm hasn't Princess Di been dead for over 10 years now. We seem to get over the deaths of young boys in record time like.....Ishan was stabbed!! Oh my god really..yeah he was stabbed last night near Wood Apple!! ...Pause..Wood Apple has a new Menu you know..Wow really!! lets go!!..Ishans memory forever erased. I don't mean to direspect the dead but what the hell did she do to deserve all this worship. Shouldn't Mother Teresa be remembered more fondly? You tell me.

Well the British family is full of uglies, even the young princes look like old farts now with thinning hair and bunny teeth. Oh yes i am planning to make a point heheh, perhaps she did look better than Fergie and Princess Anne but compared to some of the dead beauties of our time she doesn't shine so much. RIP:Anna Nicole Smith, Liza-Left eye Lopez from TLC, Aaliyah to name a few, the only thing they didn't have was Prince Charles and i dont think any of them regret it.

Why the hell do people light candles in her name. If she had put an end to the Palestine and Israel war yes it would be right to keep thinking of her. If she had found a cure for Aids or cancer i wouldn't be writing this on my blog. Since she did not deliver anything of significance I have an issue. A big fat one.

We do see her in songs and documentaries holding African babies with tears in her eyes. If I had her money i would do a whole lot more and a without cameraman(David Beckham you are just another Diana in the making-crash and burn buddy). I really don't need the whole world to see that i give a fuck. I wonder if her baring skin was for charity. Yeah I heard from a very reliable source that, just seeing Diana's bare back can cure blindness...

Maybe she did a lot for the British people!! But what??!! Pose for a lot of pictures!!!Model the Royal Jewellry??!! Help me here!! Oh yeah!! i guess agreeing to marry Prince Charles was a charitable act, far more charitable than I could ever be. Give the Queen a break and bring that rotting corpse down from the pedestal you have her on...

Msg to Paris Hilton if you want to be remebered for more than 2 seconds marry Prince William!!!

S.O.S

2008-05-07T01:02:00.001-07:00

A dark cloud came over me yesterday

When a stupid bug came my PC's way

Everytime i opened You tube for something to see

A stupid, ban notice came and laughed at me

i felt like my hands were tied behind my back

I needed some way out so i searched for a crack

Meanwhile i was making a fuss and scene

Acting like a hormone driven teen

"Fuck em all" i had to say

I hate it when things don't go my way

Hallelujah!! today i've found a remedy

The whole affair was a bit of a comedy!!!

hehehehe

(Oh yes the "IT" manager couldn't find a cure i did it all on my own, which makes me the victim and the hero muahahahaha)

A disgrace to all of mankind

2008-05-03T22:40:00.000-07:00

Finally the whole world got to see the real Paula. On every one of the idol shows we get to see how retarded she is and why she doesn't deserve to be on a panel who determines the next American idol. Last week however we got to see what a real,drunk,moronic slut she is. No one need to make excuses for her because there are none. I wonder who came up with the bright idea to have a washed up talentless old, cradle snatching ho like her on such a major show.

I mean man!! she doesn't even know how to clap for godsake. I have a little baby at home and he can clap rings around her and at times i honestly beleive what he blabbers out makes more sense than the meaningless trash she utters out. Maybe the writers guild should make this their concern and write a script for the bitch. I feel so sorry for her. How long does it really take for someone to form a sensible sentence??in her case forever.... The only reason why i watch American idol is because i am a Big Ryan Seacrest fan. He is so confident, funny, witty and he comes from radio. Radio rules!!!

Simon is the one responsible for bringing so many little gay boy bands who never really make it big. Randy is so outdated he is not even familiar with some of the contemporary musicians. But to give the devils there due they are still sain and are human unlike that little impish broad who sits in the middle. Don't be hatin Nisa??!its not just me...so point your finger upwards!!

Paula should crawl back into whatever shit hole she came out of!!

hehehe and have you seem the biggest joke this year, Paula's new music video..what the teeeeeet was she thinking...oh wait a minute you need a brain to think...sorry Paula!!

Why

2008-04-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

Why do i bother coming to work on a Sunday, when i dont even get a single request? well cos the accountants gonna cut a days pay.
Why do i bother writing on my blog when i'm the only one who is probably going to read it? umm cos i am bored and i have to amuse myself.
Why am I still awake? Cos my fellow indian colleagues never stop rambling(seriously its been about an hour now and the bhbwdufuwu won't stop )
Why am i not hungry right now? cos last night i pigged out as part of my anniversary celebration.
Why don't I start reading from the crime libraries website? ummm in a bit.
Why am i so overweight now? Because i eat all the time and never exercise Oh no no no...(Rehab style)
Why do i not bother to dress up? Hell!! its Male' yo
Why dont i stop writing right now? yeah why dont I?!!!

Thoughts for the day!!

2008-03-06T01:42:00.000-08:00

Hmmm i have the feelin that this year is gonna be a good year for music. Have you heard the new Chris brown track thats on the top of the charts. Its Nalla and Suparrr n errthing in between. The lyrics are pretty shallow and straightforward but the singing is fab and the melody is really something else. Purrfect for Valentines and Anniversaries or when you wanna make up for sleeping with the girl next door.The "Radiohead album In rainbows" was close to being a master peice. Sarah bareilles-love song, Snoop doggs-sensual seduction, the Natasha Bedingfield song with Sean Kingston all music to my ears.

(i might come off as a big popsicle but i'm just rolling with the times but i hold Louis Armstrong, Frank Sintara, Elvis, Dean Martin, Beatles, Jim Reeves, Etta james, Cassandra Wilson,Johnny Cash, Peggy lee, Carpenters, Beegees, neil Sedaka .....cd's close to my heart)

Who knows purrhaps there might be a good dhivehi song or two this year as well. I really liked the song "Chaaley"(from 2006) although i feel like someone else could do more justice to the lyrics(the vocals were too whiney at times). I am just hoping that some fool doesn't decide to make a video and spoil the magic.

Well my braaaaathaas radio station HFM 92.6 has officially started transmitting to the Maldivian airways. So far HFM seems to be on the stairway to success. Consistency and compliance to the needs of the masses is what will bring success to any radio station. Capital radio if not for Shimrees stint in the night is really doomed to failure. Faraway radio has great music to offer but the presenters are the people who keep a station alive so it wont surprise me if they go Kaput.

The real fun will begin when the new tv stations come alive..heheh.. i really don't wanna expect too much becos from what i know Villa tV's gone and hired rejects from TVM. Big Mistake!!!

We'll see , We'll all seeeeee mwahahahahahaha (fade)

# the picture that i've posted shows some guys balding head and most importantly models who were in Hulhumale' to do their physical for some runway show in April......heads up

No no no

2008-02-02T20:17:00.000-08:00

I just couldn't do it. I thought about bringing Shany on one of my shows as a guest. However after thinking it through i decided it would be against ny better principles. Her new song with the Srilankan producer was just so bland. Like a cup of tea without sugar. The rapping was good and the music was produced well but its time she realized that no amount of synthesizing or pitch bending can make a singer out of Shany. I wonder how much she had to pay them to get her on the song. I'd be more than willing to pay double the money to get the song off the air(I am broke right now so don't take me so seriosuly Iraj). It is probably the biggest mistake Iraj has ever made and he will regret it for the rest of his life.

Its sad that Shany is not the only misguided missile in our small nation. There are talentless, photographers, models, actors, cooks, lawyers.....you just name it..Take a ride through Male' and stop to look at the billboards, what do you really think? Can you like go wow!! Oh do you go, what the hell were they thinking? I have to admit that Male' with its history of inbreeding does have a lot of talent to offer but most of the time its wannabees who end up in the fucking lime light. The SAD SOBS either have money or connections which enable them to pursue whatever the hell they want. I call this the Paris Hilton effect.

People with no cash can't harvest there talents or intelligence. I see so many half wits wasting there time and money abroad trying to get a degree while intelligent young individuals are stuck here beggin people to sponsor their dreams plus long working hours, keep their talents locked away so that undeserving ho's can pollute the society. Even though it may seem unfair this is how the system works, like it or not. Is there anyway that we can change this? nope....

Pray for a Miracle thats all

God Bless India!!

2008-01-26T23:16:00.000-08:00

You wanna know what's on my hit list now? do ya? Even if you don't you know i am gonna write about it hehehe cos its my party and I'll cry if i want to. Well getting down to business, the top number on my list is "Mere Dholna" from the movie Bhool Bhulaya. I must admit that Bhool Bhulaya was not half bad. If not for some unneccasary comedy it was alright. I have to admit once again that I was scared(with the heart of BEOwulf)because the Actress did a pretty convincing job. "Mere Dholna" featured some great dancing, the guy especially was just sooo mind blowingly good. The Jumping and the skipping and the expressions, Oh lord!! have mercy i was totally amazed. I have to give credit to my sister who actually made me watch the song. Cos normally I would forward any song that suddenly popped up. This particular song was full of emotion and theatrics totally worth your 6mins. Not to mention the flawless singing accompanied by the thakathaka thaa and the orchestra.

In Rainbows by Radiohead is an album truly worth downloading, my favorite song from the album is "nude'. Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace is another great album by the Foo Fighters. I really love long road to ruin.

Gawsh!!I wish i could dance like the girl in the Mere Dholna video, it was just so captivating and magical. How many of you can do something that can give goose bumps to the next person? Not me for sure(not counting the times i have screamed out loud!!). I wanna know how it feels like to have that sort of power. To make people gasp, shiver and faint. FOCUS thats what i gotta do FOCUS......

2008

2008-01-15T03:07:00.000-08:00

The New Year is here with a Bang. I really don't know what to make of it. I got a terrible cold as a new year present but in all honesty things are going well for me. I can't say the same for Britney though...My mum messaged me just now from India saying that an Indian News paper had reported that Britney was moving to India after embracing Islam. It is as easy to beleive as a boy scout saving Maumoon from an assasination(thats right you don't fool me).

I really have to go to the John but i dont wanna...yes i work in mysterious ways, ways that are probably gonna have me looking for a spare kidney when i am 40(nooooo)..Damn this sore throat...having it has actually made me realize something though,"Life hangs by a Thread". Well you see i am an announcer, I sell my voice for a living..dont' worry i'll get to the point. Yes!! i realized that if i lose my precious voice my whole livelihood will be shattered. Shrieeeeeeeeeeeek!!! it is so scarey i need to take some serious precautions.. it isn't just me though which is a bit comforting.

Well i really can't hold back my waste products anymore plus i have to be somewhere soon...

By the way i have adopted 50 cents's motto as my own this year "Get Rich or Die trying" hopefully within a few years i can change it to "Get Rich and Die Rich"

The picture that you see has nothing to do with what i'v written, thats fine my bestest neice...

Once a Glutton always a glutton

2007-11-25T04:10:00.000-08:00

All of those people whoever harbored any resentment towards my formerly slim figure can relax now and sleep in peace. I have officially gained back most of the kilos i lost with my intensive dieting. Its all good though, i feel so alive once more hehehe. beleive it or not just now one of my office mates looked at the picture on my id card and said i looked too lean back than and more attractive right now...Its hard to find clothes and at times fit in through narrow doorways but its just soo damn fulilling(literally) to eat without feeling guilty.

I am in no hurry to start dieting again becos there's no pressure. My boyfriend thinks my spare tyres are sexy and he doesnt complain about my XL bazoomas. Plus my non existent Ass is showing promise with the more fats i consume. hehehe

The pros out number the cons so i am sticking with the PHat...for now...who knows

I am back baby

2007-11-21T02:28:00.001-08:00

(The picture is of my 3 month old nephew, yes a boy in a bikini...he looks good in anything!!)

Shaal if you are planning to come back home wearing a "Burugaa" you better think twice, becos you won't be very welcome. Ever since the bombing at Sultan park kutti Nasheed has vowed to remove all the burugaas in Male' and where them as a a gigantic skirt to hide his so obvious "pussy". Well anyways i also feel that one should better think twice before opting for more "fothi" cos things are just getting to be too damn expensive. The prices of everything from Onions to Taxi rides are increasing. Lets not even talk about the rent of houses...lord have Mercy!!!
Maybe its just me but i feel like the whole of the Maldivian Male population have been given a dose of oestrogen. Every where i turn i see some guy wearing my mums dhupatta as a shirt or eye liner and lip gloss. What happened to the Manly men who used to go fishing. No no no!! none of these gay suckers would dare pull a line, god forbid they might break a nail. Bangles, extensions, ear rings, nose rings and nipple rings are must haves in their wardrobes. i just can't help but feel these are signs of the end of dayz..brrr mama i still need to become a millionaire.
If you happen to walk on the road now you'll see two extremes. On one side the modest women covered from head to toe in black and on the other side bare naked ladies with their short skirts and tube tops. I have no problems with either but i thought it would just be worth mentioning. Maybe someone who reads this might have something to say about this.
I think i have officially given up partying not because i think everybody who goes to bounce tommmorow night are goin to hell but because i am sick and tired of having to see people passing out, throwing up all over the place, the new techno age"i can't stand the shit", The oohh look at what she's wearing looks, being thirsty and covered in sand.................

Well thats all i have to say today...
heheh
babye

She did it again!!

2007-09-25T00:46:00.000-07:00

I beleive that god put me on this earth to heard, to be admired by young and old, to cover songs which need improvement!! Who am i you ask? I am Muneefa.........

Just like our friend Shanee Muneefa is one who beleives that she can sing...in public. We dont mind you singing in your shower, in your living room, to your family and loved ones. But please not for me not for the general public. I dont think we can evolve enough to be able to tolerate your voice or your style. Yes i have to reach a certain peak of irritation before i just cannot without blogging about a character. I dont go around dissing people for no reason, this is for the better good of everyone in this community right here.

I was Kind of like upto my kneck till last Friday, thats when the last straw was pulled. I guess you are all familiar with Mihandhaanugaa. Its a show where well known "singers" from Male' get up and do covers. Some twist and turn the songs so much they are hardly recognizable. Muneefa gave us the pleasure of singing a little something last year.... what was it?.... errm yeah Errrayy haada Rui mey(exactly the way i've written it). She did a really sexy version of a song which was written by someone following the tragic drowning of some of his family members. Yes Betty crocker says the best substitute for Sorrow is Sexiness. Just when i thought she couldn't top herself she went and proved me wrong...and she did one hell of a job. Do you all know the song: "Ley kokaalaa Malun Foni boneetho"that was the lamb she brought to slaughter..How it braighed, screamed and neighed. Looking like an absolute slut from Bangkok she started the song in a really deep voice. and the half way through did a little falsetto which was uncalled for. Yup this is entertainment!! raw crazy entertainment. She did a little speach before starting the song about how she always wanted to present something different to the Audience. Well my dear There's good different and theres horrible, unlistenable, painful different. You decide which different she was aiming for.

Well the best part is you can use it as an I-tune i think the ID is 2353

Why??

2007-09-19T22:18:00.000-07:00

Why doesn't it rain when i want it to?

Today is the last day of a very long week and i can't wait for the clock to strike nisa "get up and leave". As i wait for the clock to move its slow ass hands it starts to rain. Shucks shucks and more shucks what good is rain today. I can't lie down with a book and cosey up in bed. I can't go out and do a little rain dance with my Umbrella(i've learned some moves from Rihannas music video). Rain why couldn't you have waited just one more day?? just another 24 hours. Tommorow is Friday and i can sleep to your sweet sound tap tapping on my window. But noooo you won't gimme that pleasure will you? Maybe i'll just resign and go home to enjoy this cold morning. Nope i wont becos i know you'll stop pouring down the minute i quit. That is just how you work and i will not give you the pleasure...absolutely not

Rain, I remember how you used to make it really difficult for me to get to school on the Final day. Everytime whether it be March, June or November i always had to wade through so much water to get to school on the final day. The next day or the first day of my school holidays there would not be a cloud in the sky and the sun would be shining in all its glory. Life is a test i know? but do i have to be tested so harshly...do i have to be tortured so...Sun why do you have to be so efficient? why can't you take some time off...say only from this direction. Honestly we are tired of being too close to equator ............now Gahir is here with the latest retaliation...i gotta G...O

Out with the Old

2007-09-18T00:36:00.000-07:00

I watched FREINDS from beginning to end and admit that i enjoyed it somewhat. But i really don't know why some folks can't get over the show. Especially with the really crummy predictable ending...who would've thought that Ross and Rachel would get back together and live happily ever after. Its not like they have a child together or something..oh no wait!! they do dont they??!!.I lost my real interest in friends when i discovered that they had a lot of borrowed material from my all time favorite comedy show Seinfeld. in comparison FRIENDS doesnt even come close to Seinfeld in terms of originality or acting. Well its no big secret that the appeal behind FRIENDS was the attractive cast. its Human nature to be attracted to things that are symmetrical and beautiful. Girls from this superficial day and age (including me) really look forward to seeing the latest hairstyle on Rachel(Jennifer Aniston) and the funky jewellery modelled by Phoebe(Lisa Kudrow). FRIENDS comes in a very pretty package i guess thats why most people can't get enough of it. I saw this group in FACEBOOK where grown men come and laugh about old jokes quoted from friends. Gimme a break guys i am fasting, do you have to be this lame? do you? Some jokes like the stuff from friends can only be funny ones. Plus there is a lot of background that usually leads to the joke. So when it does not apply to your situtation it is just painful for people like me, i am being really serious here.

I mean Cmon i was totally in love with Sex and City and hated to see it come to an end. But i am over it now and sure hope as hell it doesnt come back again. Why? you ask. Well because most of em are over forty and not very sexy anymore even after extensive surgery and designer wear. but i have overheard people at coffees talking about friends imitating them and oh my gawwwwwwwwwd.... i think i am losing it. This always happens to me when my fellow Maldivians like something too much..Once upon a time Lady in Red was a beautiful ballad but now its just like over chewed gum you just wanna spit it out....Umbrella is going to sink faster than the Titanic in my charts too if i dont stop hearing it all the time. Its really hard for this society right here to accept something new. Once in a blue moon we get an update and we hold onto it and bleed it try. till the vultures won't even come close to the remains...I am just sick and tired of this whole friends craze and the rest of the stuff thats reached the cult status here, ye know like Maroon five(blech), Savage garden(oomph), Asha bhosle(eeeek), and oh my lord the infernal ALI ZEE(choke,gasp. drop dead!!!)................................................................

Saleem with the Pretty Name

2007-08-29T21:01:00.000-07:00

Its been soo long maybe too long since i wrote on my blog. Since Minister Nasheed with all his responsibilities(brushing his hair and sitting on his ass) has time to update his blog i should too. I'll take another chance to write about Nasheed but this time the focus is on the one the only "Nanreethi Saleem". Don't get me wrong guys but i am not trying to be the least bit political. Although i may tip a little over to the side where Maumoon is not on i am not all for MDP either. I am on the side of right(meaning my best interests). But you can bet your ass and Gonads that i will never support IDP and Adhaalath party. Those two Parties will be the end of us. Already the Indians have mentioned us being a part of some bomb attack. Pretty soon they will start killing all the women who do not wear burugaas. I am a Muslim flesh and blood but i will never support Muslim extremist they are no better then Nazi's. I am sure god will not have any space for them haters in heaven. God from Kutti Nasheed to hell how did i get here??? i was supposed to be writing about the Human Rights commissioner. AAaah to hell with this paragraph let us try again on the next one.

Nanreethi Saleem really knows his human rights. If he does not want to respect other human beings that is his right, right?? He can only hold up a decent conversation for 2 Min's before he gets off track and into thilhai and nagoo balhaa mode. He almost said "Nagoobalhun" at some people on TVM hehehe way to go Mr. human rights commissioner. To get on peoples good side he has devised a full proof plan which is..tada tadatada blaming the Police. You know how everybody hates the police. Mr. Nanreethi forgets at times that even though they are trained to bust your asses(god bless them) they are still human and have their rights as well. Just the other day there was this instance where a bangaalhee was tied up in chains inside their quarters. This loon went and blamed the cops saying it was police brutality. Well it just so turned out that one of the workers stepped up and took responsibility for the wrong doing. What business would a cop have inside a bangaalhee head quarters anyway (except for the occasional gay rendezvous) My mum told me that it was against Saleem's better principles to ever respect anyone well except for Maumoon who puts food on his plate. So the next time you see Nanreethi Saleem you can spit on him, why? because it is your human right to be able to spit on scum.

A Human rights activist should:

1- Be a Human (not half snake)

2- Be able to empathize starting with a simple smile

3- Have balls- which i doubt he has

4-Brush his teeth(look closely at the picture I have posted)

5-have eyebrows- because it is just scary not to have them(i could give him some of mine)

Note: notice that the flowers seem to be almost wilting in his presence....urrgghh my skin crawls

He does not fit even one of the above criteria so lets bring the bugger down......heave hoooo

Think about it-" wink"," wink"," wink"

Sugar ohhh honey honey

2007-07-24T20:25:00.000-07:00

Sugar is here!! although it wasn't easy, the doc had to cut hidhy open and drag him out. All those pregnant mummy's out there, word of advise IGMH isn't the most advisable place to give birth. It took them two days to decide on whether to operate on my sister in law and by the time sugar was bored and his heart beating had slowed down to 50 beats per minute. Thank god he reached our hands safely. We are hopefully going to name him Mohamed Kian Saif, that is if the name is approved by the Islamic committee. My brother dear is a father now and i am the proud Aunt of a nephew for the first time...i have two extra cute neices already and also one more nephew on the way. Kian is so soft smooth and squisshable........i am also the god mother and my baby darling I-dhee is the godfather

She can't dance either

2007-07-08T03:31:00.000-07:00

In the name of all that is holy "Shaanee"cannot sing. You'll know what i mean when you see her version of La isla bonita. She aint that bad looking compared to the other broads in the industry but her wailing is just too much for me to take. Who the hell told her she could sing??shame on you people!! you call you self friends? Friends don't let their friends humiliate themselves in public over and over again. A lot of "not there yet" Maldivians list her as a favourite artist but they couldn't be more wrong. Her personal style makes her sound like a chain smoking transexual who is close to completing the transition. Damnit woman just listen to yourself. I want more than anything for you to read my blog and get back to me because i have put a great deal of thought on just what i wanna say to you.

I am not being unconditionally mean, right?!!. She hosted the "Crystal Meth awards" the other night and she couldn't help but ask her co host Super star Manik if he could sing. Yes she was fishing for compliments but thank god Manik was too self involved to satiate her need for reassurance. Instead of saying "I couldnt possibly sing like Amy Winehouse or Shanee" he made some lame joke about people having to wear a bucket to hear him sing. Thank you Manik you may have just stopped Shanee from accellerating Ozone depletion by bringing out another Album, God bless you son...of Sam...!!(Couldn't help it Manik)

But the saddest fact remains that since Shanee is a "singer" her kids will step into the scene sooner or later. There's no escape for us from Generations and generations of Shaaneess.....Arrrgh lord take me now(i can be totally dramatic when i want to). No amount of hate mail is going to stop her from torturing our ears. Because she beleives that she is gifted and should share her blessing with all of us. Darling Shanee please, look at what happened to Mahmoodha and her partner in crime Fathimath rauf. They both got so grotesquely obese they couldnt move their chins without help which led to their ealry retirement(not a minute too early for me). This could easliy be your fate sweet heart so i suggest you hand the mic over to me.

Niuma I have nothing against you pfffttttt but i couldnt get a picture of her majesty so i had to post yours.

Gangs of Male'

2007-06-27T23:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday an 18 year old girl was found dead. Cause of death you ask?? Seems she was pushed off a ledge. Violence is gaining on us like the blob. Feeding off the parteys and growing as we speak. Last week one of my colleagues purse was snatched by two rodents on a motorcycle. A friend of a friend got stabbed in the back with a Sword. About two weeks back my office got burgled. It may not be pink and slimy but the increasing crime rate grosses me out even more.

So what can we do about it??????? Gather up and make an "NGO" for the cause. Nope!! no go. Making your own gang to fight crime like the Ninja turtles would be more effective. Conduct awareness programs....pfft hahaha-in from one ear out the other you know what i am saying. Jail em up...this is the worst option of all. with the current conditions at the Maafushi pententiary if you lock someone up for petty theft he will graduate and come out as a fully trained, Drug abusing, homosexual, theiving, senseless murderous crook. Its true they do learn a lesson but not the kinda noble lesson that we are trying to teach em, but they learn from the dhaadha's who are sentenced for life who have no remorse or regret. So you see its a lost cause there is simply nothing that we can do. Sure a parent can follow their child to school and keep em locked up safely at home. But for how long?? eventually Buddha too stepped out from the perfect world his parents had built for him into the ugliness of reality. Where he was overwhlemed by the unfairness of the world our children are fascinated and excited about all the naughty things they could go about doing. Sex, drugs and rock roll yall!!!

But I've come to find out that many kids are learning to take the right path after seeing how misfortunate and pathetic their parents or brothers and sometimes sisters turn out to be. They do not wanna end up dead, insane and permanantly broke because of an addiction. Instead they want to get educated to become resepectable responsible citizens. So you see, in the end its nature who is doing the job for us isn't it. Cos there is absolutely nothing we can do. You can try and prove me wrong.

Smoooochy booochies

Aloha

2007-06-19T22:17:00.000-07:00

Damn its been too long since i've written anything on my blog. I've just been too busy and uninspired i guess. Its that time of the year again when friends living abroad come flocking home for Summer. But sadly it aint the summer of 69 it used to be here. The tides are rolling in and we are slowly but surely going under. We have to either speed up evolution and develop some quality gills or just drown and die a painful death(imagine gawk splutter aaahh urrghh). I know its only natural for us to not wanna leave our beautiful home and flee to safety. But i am afraid it is the only chance we have of surviving. Question is where do we go. I heard from my work "mate" that "Australians" have already allocated space for us refugees to camp at when disaster does strike.

What i can't get right now is the fact that the government is planning to open more resorts. Why the hell aren't they willing to see that 20 years from now we'd be lucky to have 10 atolls above sea level.

Finally "food safety" has come into the light (read it like terminator). Food joints are being closed down by the dozen. That big ol place called SLAM was slammed shut because of rodent infestation and diseased staff. For some reason i always did avoid going there (someone up there is surely looking out for me). One of my Fav haunts Mughalai was shut down not shocking since its run by Indians, who arent really known for their sense of hygeine. Guess there wont be anymore Naan nights with Baxoo..damn. I wonder whats gonna happen when they move onto the harbour i bet the places are gonna go down one after the other like dominoes.

aaaahhhhhhh the laze the laze its takin me overrrr...can't type no more..

Baby Talk

2007-05-30T20:10:00.000-07:00

Its been too long since i last watered my lil Rose.....sorry darling. Honestly i was too busy the past week my writing had to be temporarily blocked.

Guess what i went baby sitting, this is actually the second time around and eventhough its been months since the last time, i do think i've improved..or maybe the baby was too tired to give me a hard time. Three cheers for all the mums out there for their endurance and unbeleivable patience.

No doubt about it i wanna be a mum i've even picked out baby names for my baby's. I am not gonna jinx anything by revealing the names right now so lets just slide. Like every mum i want my baby to be very healthy. and by healthy i mean really chubby with cute lil love handles, big cheeks and fluffy baby bottom(hopefully my baby is gonna inherit idy's cute round heiny). My sister Cutee and Fine were the best baby's. All you had to do was feed them make em look pretty and your all set. No wailing or tantrums if they looked a bit unsettled it meant they needed some sugar. I guess stuffing their teeny mouthy wouthy's is one way to keep baby's from bawling. This method is totally useless for any child of nani's. Yana! Yana! Yana! she is so pretty, so clever and so naughty. There is no way you can get the better of her. I am her aunt and she has never willingly come to my arms, except for the time she slept on my shoulder(she was about 3 months and verry verry tired right about then).

I am so fucking sleepy this morning so i'll just stop right here.....until the next time......toootaatatatata

Ooh and by the way theres gonna be a dj at Bandos featuring some UK popband called Unleashed. This is the first time I've even heard of the group and hopefully it will be the last and there is no way in hell i am going to cross the wide open sea to subject myself to European torture. I've been dying to dance but somehow i feel this event is a must miss. So i'll take that rain check-Thank you

Pro- ?????????????

2007-05-22T04:51:00.000-07:00

8th of June!!!!i am dreading the arrival of that fateful date when the whole world will find out how pathetic our modelling industry is. Why???? why would anybody want to put themselves in a glass house and call out them boys with sling shots. It is one thing to have small fashion shows to show case the designs of some hopeful homosexual but it is totally another when you invite international models who can actually reach a door knob without standing on their toes. One of my palios who went to watch the rehearsals said it was a slut fest and none of the girls were even bearable. It pains me so to have our country ridiculed world wide and i know how cruel people from the fashion industry can be(no no not from experience but by watching trendz , Janice Dickons show and ofcourse America's next top model). I know by international models being a part of the show it actually refers to struggling Indian models but even those girls would look like goddesses next to our line of smurfets.

But the hypocritical fact remains that i am definitely going to be among the crowd for this show. To check out the music from the almighty "fasy"(who i think is a great musician but an entertainer i am not so sure- ) well and to support the models. I am sure the whole carnival is going to be packed. Not because people have so much faith that this event is going to be a blast but Male' is over populated and most of us have nothing better to do on a Friday evening. You should have seen the crowd that turned up for the launching of the "Haashaviyani raajaa cd" mostly kids. Once again i was among the crowd amazed at how parents entertain their kids these days(including my sister nani). I mean Muhamma is just gross apart from being a money laundering, womanizing psycho. OOh and if the local crowd does happen to find something to do the banglaa boys will be sure to pack the place up.

You know i think the problem with these organizers is that they aim too high(or maybe they are too high). They could make a smaller event with more quality. It is a fact that when you want to start something like this it is better to work with a controlled crowd first. This way you will find how much the crowd appreciates your effort and actually have a better chance of showing some proffesionalism. Try copying a fashion event first and than work towards making your own. You cant really determine the success of a fashion because of the turn out especially since popular bands are playing. But this is just what i think, the only positive that i can see from this show is that a lot of people will get to view the work. Well that too could have been arranged in a more profitable way perhaps by selling the cd to TV maldives or cd shops i am sure it would sell. I dont know i have so many fucking ideas and i know so many creative people but i dont have the cash or the drive to run around looking for sponsors. So i guess what my lazy ass has to say doesn't hold any weight. But i am just happy to get the weight of my thoughts off my shoulder.

Ooh and i can't wait for the 8th of June either because my bestest best buddy is coming home and this time for good. And one more thing Idy i love you!!!

Note: the picture is of my favorite indian model of all time Deepanita

Close your eyes baby..............

2007-05-16T23:55:00.000-07:00

No doubt the Tsunami that struck in 2004 was the biggest disaster to ever hit the Maldives. Well not anymore Maumoon has slapped us in the face with an even bigger disaster, The Tsunami Monument. As you can see in the picture it looks like an immense, diseased dick. Whoever designed it must have been watching porn excessively or dating a horse with measles. I am sooo very proud of the person who picked out this hideous obscenity from a line up of designs. I guess just fucking with us didnt do for "him" he had to build the ultimate "up yours" for the whole world to see.

How in the world does that long cylindrical "erection"(giggle) remind us of the Tragic Tsunami. Hmm lemme think the shaft is the water rising and the little bubbly things are the helpless people caught in it. According to maums the thing is supposed to symbolize how the people worked together in unison to rise above the crisis. But the problem is those little bubbles depicting the people failt to rise above the gigantic dildo. So which means that we still havent been able to overcome to the effects of Tsunami. Which is true in a way since there are people still living in sub-human conditions after losing their house and homes in this disaster. It must have taken a substantial amount of money to finish off a metal structure of this magnitude. Instead of wasting so much money on creating an "eye sore" why not invest the money for a good cause. Well i guess the point here is to build as many monuments as he can now, so that we will be reminded of his greatness even after he is long gone. Sadly, since we are for the most part a muslim country "the big man" can't build statues of himself. A life size liking of him would have to be built on a 20 feet tall pedestal if he wants to be visible to 3ft. Dont worry Maumoon we wont forget you and we wont forgive you, you can share the darkest corner of our hearts with Idi Amin, Saddam and George W. Bush.

I would like a word with who designed this monstrosity. I wanna know if he was playing a joke? God!!! to this day i have never seen a monument worth looking at never. That thing near the Islamic Centre is so damn wierd looking. It might fit in a technologically advanced destination like Japan with all its gleaming glory but not here. Something with a more natural Woody feel would have gone better. We have so many creative people here in the Maldives but with their hands tied firmyl behind them. Since we are on the subject of limiting creativity, let me tell you how the Air Maldives Logo came to be. Once upon a time when my sister nani was in the Air Maldives she asked my brother beebee to help her design a logo for her. As hard as it was to get him of his lazy ass, she managed to get some sketches out. You know what the treacherous scum at the deciding committee did. They took my bro's design changed some colours and some lines and called it their own. Would he ever wanna design something again???? Why the fuck would he. It feels bad to not be praised for a job well done but even worse to see someone else get all the glory. (damn it felt good to get that off my weighty chest).

I am calling anyone out there who can draw a full circle (nay thats too hard), anyone out there who can tell the difference between a flower and a piece ofTurd. Let us all join hands and "Free Willy". Tear the thing down and drop it into the sea.

Just go up and look at that thing!!! piss pisss

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

2007-05-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

I had totally put my guard down, why would i need a guard anyway i was just watching T.V. Alas it turned out that I did need a guard and a helmet and a blind fold too. I almost fainted when i saw what was dancing in front of me...blink ...blink it wouldnt go away. Suneeta in a very short dress with high cut boots and rebonding. I hear the San Fransisco Zoo uses this combo to put Grizzly bears to sleep. If not for the handy work of the cameraman, who conveniently managed to dodge the main star in the video and focus on the back ground crowd, the whole of Male' would have to have Therapy sessions for six months at the least. Well those of you reading this may think i am an over exaggerating, heartless bitch but browas and sista's if you've seen what i've seen ........you wouldnt judge me so harshly.

For those of you who arent familiar with the dancetress in question let me give you a breif introduction. As far as i know Suneeta was launched into the spotlight from a short series film first telecast in the fasting season of 1993(or somewhere around there). She played the part of an extremely beautiful woman who was compared to the moon more than once. Back in those days there was no fair and lovely and no chemical bleach so Suneeta was in her natural colour for the most part undetectable in the dark even with the cheap lighting by Fikry. So the only time it would be right to compare her to the moon is during a total eclipse. Dont get me wrong I am a woman of colour and i do beleive the darker the chocolate the better it tastes. But I wouldnt compare Naomi to the moon now would?? I know i am geting side tracked here but what's the dealio with comparing a pretty face to the moon. From what i've seen it's chalk white with craters. The only fair comparison to the moon would be that of Ali Shiyam, he is unnervingly fair and has craters.

Getting back to the glamourous life of one Suneeta. She went out of the lime light for a while and reappeared with a bang at the stage in the western harbour. There used to be a show called the hafthaanimun where fisherman would be lined up for a glimpse of the high light of the evening the "queen of the night". And that was before she lost weight and beleive you me the vibrations on the stage didnt come from the blare of the speakers, now you do the math. From time to time Suneeta did get the chance to star in a video or two but never reached Mariyam Nisha, Shiraanee or Niuma status. Although i cant figure out why, Suneeta may look like Princess Fiona in her Ogre form but who is any better. Shiraanee looks like a piranha when she opens her mouth and well Niuma looks like an evil witch. For some strange reason the public won't accept the dancing Diva. i guess the TV screens arent strong enough to contain the power house that is Suneeta. Let me tell you a very recent incident that I happened to hear about. Rishmee the Cod fish girl from one of my previous posts produces song videos which really sell in Male'. I do beleive that the Yaara saga is the Maldivian equivalent to Sesame Street, Barney or the Tele Tubby show, very high in demand among kids below the age of 10. In her third effort Rishmee made the mistake of casting Suneeta to replace a star who had fallen ill. Her sales experienced the biggest downward spiral ever. I guess in the end she would have had to distribute free copyies to sexually deprived dhoni crew. God Bless Suneeta!!

If you watch a Suneeta video without reading the caution notice first you might mistake her for a Transvestite. firstly she has no grace and there is something extremely masculine about her features. And praise the lord she loves to wear Lycra and other leathery materials to dance which doesnt flatter her figure the least bit. If you watch circus acts and such you might have seen "caucasions"(key word here) wear skin coloured stockings instead of bearing their own skin on stage for the world to see. Well modest Suneeta does the same when she wears sexy outfits, but since her skin colour is nowhere near "caucasion" even after the intensive bleaching and pigment creams. Which results in her looking like a cheap prostitute from a Brazilian night club instead of the sexy vixen she aims to be.

I could go on and on about Suneeta......which gives me an idea.....Ting....i should right a book about Suneeta and Assad shareef. Oooh and i saw him yesterday at Novelty engrossed in reading an actual book....getting more attractive by the minute isnt he single lady's...we were so wrong to think he just chose looks, he chose books too.....

I guess the best way to end this post would be to say

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

(Note: please, i beg you check out the video of craxy hiyaaley)

Hanging on

2007-05-02T00:47:00.000-07:00

Another month has come and gone, leaving its mark on so many people, people who died, people who were born, people who got promotions, people who got sacked, folks that came together and folks that had to part. I for one had to say goodbye to my beloved office timing. Thanks to our New administrator my two hour break time has been reduced to a measly one. And leave Saturday i have to be in the office before or at 8.00....I think i should have gone out to rally with the mdp gang. I mean how the fuck am i supposed to walk to my house eat and releive myself and get back to the office all in one hour. Despite all this i love my office mostly because of the lovable people who work there.

Sharima is the sweetest most sincere person you can ever meet, she is so patient it amazes me. Khaleel can be a pain in the ass most of the time but he has a good sense of humour which makes up for the annoyingness... Oh and there is Suneesh who is our accountant, he is not one of those ruthless typical accountants. He is the best Indian in the world. Polite, kind hearted and so very innocent oh! not to forget he looks like ibbe from Mahurab just a bit thinner thats all(by the way single lady's he is still up for grabs). Deepa is kinda new but so far she has proven to be a team player. Riza is so very proper and queer, its hard to tell whether he is a cookie or a playboy(he has been married 3 times) he thinks abe is very attractive, which is the ultimate gay test. Theres Solih who comes into the office once in a while to browse some porn who i thought was an Indian.I actually made jokes at him in his face thinking he wouldnt understand. And lastly my one and only boss shahid who has a very kind heart and bright ideas. Before i forget i have to include Gahir right hand man to shahid who is obsessed with the Mdp. The most interesting thing about him is his hairstyle which changes with the weather you'll know what i mean when you meet him.

I guess it all comes down to the people. Take male' for instance eventhough it is such a beautiful place most of us are forced to hate it because of the people living in it. Prying, back stabbing, cunning, evil bastards who live among us. In the same pissed off noted i have to mention that Maumoon has increased by the price of all food items probably to pay off the loans he took to buy that hot new BMW and the extention to his house in Kuwait. A felivaru masdhalhu costs 9 Rufiya ....fuck, fuck, fuck the system...all i can do right now is hope they all burn in hell. Amen

Note: Baby congratulations on "finally" passing your written driving test hope you pass the pracs tooo.. umah 4 more days baby just 4 more days

Ode to my Fat Self

2007-04-29T20:42:00.000-07:00

No matter what i'll always be a fatty at heart

Eventhough my flabs and me did part

I cant do with this coffee cup

I long to eat till i cant stand up

Just watching Travel channel makes me drool

I have to look away to keep my cool

It aint easy to refrain when abes around

to watch while he eats the whole house to the ground

but it'd be a crying shame to bloat up again

gotta fight that urge and try to maintain

i used to be addicted to Garudhiya and Rice

Ice Cream and Waffles and Chocolate on Ice

I need to fit into the dress in the glass

Food!! thats why with a sigh i have to pass

Sometimes i dream of swimming in cheese

Like this at night myself i tease

Damnit Nisa!!! Woman get a grip

if you want to fit into that tiny slip

http://www.flickr.com/photos/7757566@N04/

Oh yeah follow the link you see and you will be taken to an enchanting place.....trust me

"Masburi Riha"

2007-04-26T01:51:00.000-07:00

If you want to discover true Maldivian cuisine look no further there's point in Majeedhee Magu close to ADK hospital called Aibalhey kada. My baby and mi bro brought home some of the goodies the other night. And i found out that those gluttons werent exaggerating bout the "Masburi Riha"(Translates into fish curry-big cuts of fish). I know the name sounds a lil profound but dont knock it till you've tried it. But you gotta be tolerant of a little spice if you wanna eat it. According to my Omni informed brother abe (only about the food joints- he is a walking meat truck) it goes best with Roti. Cos Farata's won't soak it all in.

Also According to legend (from the chronicles of Idy) lots of other Cafe's have tried to make their Masburi Riha taste like Aibalhey's but all their efforts proved in vain. I have a very good tongue for ingredients i think immana try and cook up some "Masburi Riha". I could definitely taste black pepper, coconut, onions, garlic, salt, lime and chillie's. Ye know just writing this article is making my mouth water. Although i know most of you who are unaware of this state treasure wont find the name of the dish or the place its served at very appetizing. ("Aibalhey Kada" translates into Misshapen arm).

Looking at events at hand seems there's going to be a dj at bandos on the third of April. It was originally scheduled for the 3rd of May but got delayed cos of funds. I know its not gonna be all that good. Even if the dj's do a good job, we'll soon forget about it because of the long queue for the ferry back and the thirst......and all those people you dont wanna see. Note this down too on your social calenders that theres going to be a Big Concert tommorow night for Road Safety or summin. Seems a lot of bands are gonna be playing on the show. You'll be sure to see me there with my better half.

Early tommorow morning before the bangalhees wake up "Bonny n Clyde" are gonna head on over to Hulhumale' to catch some fishies for my make-do tank... Guess what suckers i have a dancing fish..really you wont beleive how adorable it is. But you can't have it BLAaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttt

Hot hot heat

2007-04-24T00:47:00.000-07:00

I maybe crossing the line here but i really dont deserve to go to hell. Not after being born and forced to live in Male'. (I guess if i had to choose between hell and Male' right now hell would be rather tempting, since i wouldnt have to work) You would know what i mean if you were here. It is just sooo fucking hot. The other day i was just gettting back to the office from having breakfast when i had a heat stroke...honestly.... my vision blurred and i puked. Poor Pigeon that laid an egg beside the AC outside my room was dissapointed to find that her baby had been hard boiled before it had anytime to become a lil chick...bummer.. I drink like three glasses of water step outside and voila like magic my lips are all dry as if i hadnt been drinking water all day..Curse this weather.

I bet its the prayers of the resort owners that keeps the rain at bay. Sunny Maldives, Sun, Sea and Sand......but i cant live like this grrrrr grrr. Those people come down for only a week or so try living here 365 days a year in this doggone heat.I need to do some Hokus Pokus and make it rain. I can't imagine how these freaking women are walking around in their black Hijaabs or any sort of burugaa.....it is really beyond me. Maybe they dont wear any under wear, i shoud look into that, more like look under..Funny thing is the weather report says its 32 degrees outside. Well i dont rely on the weather-man here since aparently according to him the Temperature in Male' cant go above 32 degrees..its the maximum degree.... fuck that...Its too hot i cant type anymore .. i am just gonna close my eyes and pretend i am with Pingoo in his Iglooo.......chirpy chirpy cheep cheep.

Till Death Do us Part

2007-04-16T20:46:00.000-07:00

Since the beginning of time I have always kept a pet. May it be a tad pole, fish or foul. Unfortunately i have delivered many to the hands of God, who inturn trashed them since theres no use for those lil spirits. Dont Alert Green Peace but i may have been responsible for the death of an uncountable amount of fish, two crabs, four snails, 2 birds, 2 lobsters, 7 turtles(all of them died young so i guess they would not have suffered so much). I loved them to bits (maybe thats the problem). At times i do forget to change the water in the fish tank, and they may have to go without food for a day. But GUYSss!!! dont give up on me i Love you.

Well right now i am the proud owner of two fighting fish....I started out with four but now i am left with just 2. Plus very recently on my anniversary i added three more fish to my collection. Idhy and me we adopted them from the Hulhumale' reef. We did get a lil pint sized lobster too but it died on the second day(RIP). Two of the surviving poopsies look like angel fish but i cant be sure cos they are so teeny weeny as yet. Idhy who has the utmost confidence in my pet keeping skills (cough...sarcasm....ancchoo) gave em 2 days but its already the 4th day now HUrrayyy. And to show his support he has even presented me with an oxygen pump....(ooh i love you baby).

If not for the congestion in Male' i'd have two very fluffy persian cats. I'd spoil them and squish them and ppphwfuseg gvgvgbvj. I miss Phoenix she was the cutest domestic slash wild pet ever. She'd never come running when we called her name unless ofcourse she was in heat or extremely hungry. awwwww.. Phoenix was beebee's pride and joy, the love of his life. Alas she is gone now.....boohooo sob snifff...I miss Jubilee (a green turtle) who shammun gave me for my birthday. We had to release her into the ocean, not to save the "sea turtle" but to save the "land Nisa" from the constant nagging of one "Mum".

I will continue to have pets till the end of time...............and that is that...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIU.... I hate to let you down today of all days but.....Kashif died a couple weeks back...kashif the fighting fish. Idhy the fighting fish slapped him and ripped him a part. He lived for a week after the attack but died recently. I gave him a proper burial with flowers and all that jazz. So pls forgive me cos i know you'll be feeling super nice today.

THUNDER IN "Paradise"

2007-04-15T01:52:00.000-07:00

I am not much for politics and will forever remain a non confirmist or someone who couldnt careless. Eventhough i may work under somebody, nobody owns me ..... But i do like to talk about whats happening in Male' these days. From the looks of it, things are getting pretty rough. Seems a man who is of yet a John doe was discovered face down in the sea. Onlookers claim that he was beaten to death before being tossed into the sea. Well guys it gets even more interesting, he is said to have been detained by the police earlier and was found close to a police building called the Atholhu vehi. When "concerned party's" confronted the police the response was that they had already released the man. Do they release people into the sea now??? free Willy was a whale hello!!! but i cant trust word of mouth well not totally at least. The fact of the matter remains that if a Police man did indeed commit this crime he will never be brought to Justice or executed the way he should be. Investigation my natural black ass!! They'll toss the case into oblivion they way they tossed the man. tsk tsk tsk

Humans have lost their worth, someone dies every day of the week now and not of old age or natural causes. Accidents, Over dosing, surgery's going bad, Abortions,...........................and now cold blooded murder. Pretty soon we wont know the names of the people who die only the number(like in Indonesia-3million today, 4 million tommorow). You maybe 300 or 466....Scarey shit aint it....i want all my friends to be a scaredy cat like me and stay out of the way and not give cause for the police to arrest you. Really it is so much better to be safe than sorry.

I- CARE

2007-04-11T22:41:00.000-07:00

Well no i aint gonna write about how efficient eye care opticals is, although i quite like em since they are bit more hygeinic and reliable than other opticians. Well i wanna talk about the Care Bears. Do you remember those cute cuddly creatures that kept us glued to the TV screens. I am sure most of us, if not all do remember them(i know for sure that shiuna does cos she refers to them a lot ). TVM used to (or maybe they still) have a very limited collection of Cartoons and the Care bears was among the best and the cutest(Others include the last Unicorn, lady lovely locks, Wind in the Willows and Ninja Turtles). Their powers are so fluffumasguffams tooo. I used to keep forcing air into my tummy hoping to see a rainbow pop out. But the only think that came out was a pfft sound and it didnt come out through my chest. And i used to sit on my pillow and pretend i was driving a cloud car like the care bears. i kinda hated the colour red too back then becos of dark heart. Cutie was crazy about the huggable heroes when she was a baby, she had to put the care bears tape on twice a day. Well until the tape was eaten up by the tape deck that is (poor baby cried a lot, a rare sight coming from QT). Damn tape decks, shoulder pads, pentium 2, Aminiya uniform and those cameras you have to rewind...are on top of the list of things that i will never miss.

Last night i started to think about em partly because Idhee is such a cute huggable teddy bear and also because of the huge bear that sits in my room(Mr. pervs gave it to me). I wondered whether they had gone obsolete. I mean you dont even see care bear soft toys or products on Sale. Well it seems they just went out of fashion like everything else. Everything except for barbies and pooh bear that is. But Care Bears are around and they celebrating their 25th anniversary. Todays kids are so hardened because of all the tough cartoon characters that have emerged(this isnt based on any research just going with the flow, who knows maybe todays kids are more proper and perky). Care Bears might be so obviously fictional and unreal (face it there arent pink and blue bears, only bears who'll care to eat you up). But the concept behind the cartoon is about teaching kids to see the good in things. I love the well mannered paddington bear too. Maybe i have a thing for fuzzy bears.

So peeps lets bring the Care Bears and the Care bear cousins into the lime light instead of the Vulgar banana's and Pyjamas(Two Walking dildos-bring on the protection) and the freaky Barney(I just hate purple) Oh yes not to forget rishmees yaara CD's(ye know the dancing cod fish) that kids love so much. Parents eventhough Azey may look like one of those kids on rug rats he is really just a homosexual human being and Rishmee may look a lot like codifix from Asterix and the Great divide she is a hot blooded woman who is only trying to be sexy. Its not their fault that the fruits of their hard labor end up looking more cartoonisk than human....please just spare your kids and let them grow into normal people. I BEG YOU.....

SAY IT LOUD

WE CARE

note: the picture that i have used on this post is of Love-a-lot Bear.

If you wanna refresh your memories on just how cute these critters are check em out at www.care-bears.com

I'M ON FIRE

2007-04-11T00:06:00.000-07:00

Oh my god i just cant get how people can eat Githiyomirus. They probably cause more harm to the body than ciggies. I usually go to this dive in the harbour,well abe n me picked this place cos nobody else goes there. Where ever we go it doesnt make much of a difference becos food at every "kada" in the harbour tastes the same. Well today the cook at our haunt was feeling mighty generous with the red ones. He must have cut up like 3 whole chillies into my Mashuni. Cos at this very moment, FYI its been about 4 hours since i ate, my chest still burns. I have been drinking like truck loadsa water, eating all the sweet stuff i can find and still it burns. i really feel like i am going to faint.

I was never able to eat Anbu Majaa the way my class mates used to with a peice of chilli to accompany 2 cubes of mango. If i did try like two spoonfuls i'd have to rush to the canteen and down 2 bottles of three choice. And my god!! that is just the beginning. Later during day i'd have a new best friend, who? the toilet seat. I'd shit my guts out and in the end i'd have to lie down with a pillow under my ass because my ass hole would be all bruised and burned from all the power ejection. I have a very bad feeling about today.

Some kinds of Chilli like bell peppers and Capsicum are a little bit more agreeable with my body than the almighty githeyomirus. I have a very stupid question to ask the people who read this entry. How would i take revenge on a Githeyo mirus? and oh yeah one that i've already eaten. should i take the lil pieces that come out when i do the nasty and torture them. Should i leave them out to dry in the Sahara Sun that we are experiencing these days. Or should i just spare them and flush (like any other normal person).

My fellow humans! i think some Dhanduveri geniuses have found a way to make their chillies hotter than hot. Please be warned or else you'll be singing:

MY ASS ! MY ASS!

MY ASS IS ON FIRE

(the roof! the roof! the roof is on fire)

Pervilicious

2007-03-25T05:23:00.000-07:00

I have been forced to write this entry because of the magntitude of how perverse my buddy Naja is.
Naj Naj is quick to admire what is beautiful, a talent he must have acquired from sitting in in the "beauty shop" for the better half of a day. but he is just as quick to diss things that are less than perfect. Dont go and see Naja if your feeling a bit bloated, he'll be sure to call you a geri falhi or something worse, dont go and see him if you have a pimple on your face he'll recommend some cream(but not before calling you some offensive name).hehehe. but you can't help but love him such a squishable huggable person.
I have become immune to perverts from hanging out with naja for so long. Somedays he just sits with me in cafe's and talks to my boobs. he'd go like: "hello, would you shake for me a lil,move up and down........hehehh. Kulhandhili, uramathi, heeslaa thankolhu, foah, thina, Buhjaadi, findhraanee, buriya jaha......these are the words that are bound to come out in his conversations. I bet you all heard the song Kaho nakaho,..the Hindi version of Tamally maak by Amr Diab.. well naja made this song for jameels break up with Shuaikaar its called Nudhenya Thalhan. he came to a conclusion that shuaikar must have split with Jameel because she wouldnt put out......what other worldly reason could their be.....beats me.
Oh wait Mayaa hoki, Amayey, Hus Dhogu these are the most recent additions to his rich offensive vocab. Iyadh used to be his very own personal pinata(pronounced pinyata). kalhu balhu, Kalhu bakari a few of his cute lil pet names for iyadh who is from the dark side. Thank god the boy has a heart of gold the only response you'd get out of him is a giggle or maybe a snort.

Naja has a new obsession these days which is designing locks. go figure. he carries the blue prints around in his wallet. A very small sketch on an even smaller note paper. Although what i think he should be pursuing is bringing out an album of pervy songs. He could bring out a dozen with his existing material.

he recently lost a great deal of weight and is particularly critical of people with generous figures. He started calling shiuna fala fat way before he started losing any weight(His ass was spilling out the sides of his ancient chair that hasnt been dusted for 50 years, when he stole the priviledge). You can imagine the amount of stuff he'd have to say now. But no one really takes the stuff he has to heart because "its naja" after all.

The only time that i saw him shut his trap was on the night that nishath gave him a piece of his mind. I was waiting for the day someone would step up and take a go at Naja....nothing personal though...Well it was fun while it lasted but afterwards naja was like. hmpph he doesnt make any sense at all. i Just didnt wanna look even stupider by challenging someone stupid.

Thats him..the Naja that we all love.

How can i not love him..he gave me a big brown teddy bear just like him for my birthday.

Mwah

btw Naja's birthday is coming its the 22nd of April

Sex and Sensitivity

2007-03-14T23:30:00.000-07:00

Well i'll take it for granted that all of you including all you perky sistas and holier than thou brothers watch porn. As for me i have been fascinated by Porn ever since i was about 14. Well i am not goin to go into further detail on that...hehe..for your sake. The best porn movie that i ever got to watch was some barbarian theme adult movie. I still havent been able to find a copy of it to this day. I am telling you it was quality porn.

But you see i dont know why but i get turned on more by sex scenes from movies than by watching porn. i used to always sneak around the house with my sisters copy of Don Juan. Porn doesnt quite have the same effect on me. Maybe its because of the emotions involved the sensuality. Or maybe its because of the tease factor. Brad pitt might show his tight butt but wont turn the other way. Or Monica Belluchi might show her perfect breasts but hide her Punani.

Humans always want whats hard to get and what they cant have. No one really wants the "easy come, easy go" ,but might use it. I guess its the same with porn. Since all the unmentionables are so in the face it doesnt quite do the trick, well not unless your so sexually deprived you could fuck the hole in the sink.

But there are people like my brother who just really appreciate the beauty of nude bodies. He is happily married and has succesfully knocked up his wife the true one and only love of his life.

Beleive it or not but i just dont have the urge to watch porn anymore since i am an off camera porn star myself hehehe.

Heads up: there are some excellent humping scenes in 300...the flava of the year

Liarrr!!!

2007-03-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

I really dont understand why people lie for no reason. I would be the biggest liar on earth if i said i've never lied in my life....Ofcourse i have and i still do? My mums supposed to think that i dont smoke. But this sorta white lie which you easily see through....most of the time, helps you out of some very uncomfy situations. (If any kiddy widdys are reading my blog taint the best thing to resort to ....like ever). Sometimes the truth is better untold....like how you got knocked up and had the kid flushed out, or how you dont have any faith in god, or how you like to sniff dunlop from time to time and masturbate watching tele tubbies.

But your not just a liar your a fraud and an imposter when you tell people that you've done your PHD or had lunch with Tyra Banks. If your one of em who likes to stretch the truth or just create history out of thin air, ask yourself why you do it? Is it because you would like the people to think you are fabulous? Well someone might beleive you for a second but when the truth comes out....you'll be the laughing stock and the untrustable hypocrite. A lot of Maldivians tend to take this path(i havent done a survey or anything but very short people with big heads mostly). One such example is Mathee...well if you happened to go to City garden last year you might have seen him. He is hard to miss being a maldivian blond(shame!!!...no blue eyes). Well this lil bugger would come and sit with us, i used to think he was being friendly but later i realized that he just wanted to share his ability to fabricate. According to him he was the owner of City garden, and he had a luxury penthouse...god knows where and with a fully stocked bar. Seems all he needed was a wife to share his wealth with. Apparently he was in a realtionship with a German tart and had tatooed a love letter she had sent to him on his ass.....that is right on his teeny weeny microscopic tooshy. i wonder if that twist in the tale was meant to wow me....i mean like wow...hehehe. Oh! and then the hair, he had two strands of weak hair flying in the wind when he said that not long back he had had dread locks that reached upto his ass crack......i mean like could he be any cooler. Oh my and the 14,000 dollar watch that he wore.....i wonder if they still sell those at Makhma on Chaandhanee Magu. he also told me how was the BUTLAA(butler) at HILTANH(Hilton) and FOUR SEASANH(Four Seasons) and had deejayed at both resorts plus in Germany. In the end he turned to be just a waiter or supervisor at the Cafe' who occasionally liked to take advantage of girls stupid enough to drink with him. In the end when he went missing from City garden we found out that he had been fired for slackin off....well this ending made the BUTLAA the subject for many of my wise cracks.

In truth none of the lies he told were harmful for me or anyone else for that matter. Lies just come back and bite the liarr in the ass. People get tired of listening to your phony baloney and wont even beleive you when you tell the truth. But i know this is a very serious condition and can only be cured by intensive therapy. It seems that a painful or embarrasing past shapes you into a two faced liar. You cant simply confront the liar and tell him or to her face and be done with it. If worse comes to worse the liar will just move onto another unsuspecting group and start his game of deception. But mind you that by the time your 30 most of the people around you will be aware of your disease and will try and avoid the afliction and you will be left alone.

Sometimes making up too many stories will confuse you about who you are in reality. So dont be a fool and lose yourself. You know your the coolest!! and people who can't accept you for who you are can just shove it. Look at paris hilton she is a super rich bitch but nobody likes her..this goes to show that material may buy slaves, tag alongs and fancy gadgetry but they wont buy you friends. I know you dont have a Lamborghini, but i still love you.

4th Monthersary

2007-03-12T21:42:00.000-07:00

I dont care for reason or rhyme

I am in love for the very first time

This time i am gonna follow through

Cos i am so in love with you

Baby you know your the one for me

and i am so happy cos i know you see

Me, for the person that i truly am

I am your vanilla coated strawberry Jam

You are just so easy to love baby

I am so sure about you, no buts or maybe

Its your sweet lips i wanna kiss

And your warm embrace that i miss

I just thought that i'd pour my heart out today

In the hope that you will forever stay

With me until the very end

through bumpy roads and every bend

Nisa: this is for you baby..........I love you....Idhee and Nisa forever

(i know i am a hopeless romantic so beequas if you wanna barf at my love dovey rhymes go ahead............hehehe. )

The Gay, The Bi and the Ugly

2007-03-06T19:37:00.000-08:00

have you read the story of the witche's. Where a shit load of witches were among humans and no one even had a clue they were turning little kids into rats. Well its sorta like the same thing....but maybe a lil creepier. Look out theres one behind you, checkin out your ye ass. Which brings me to the topic du jour. Homosexuals!!!

Homosexuals have been around since the beginning of time. There was a time in a certain city "Sadoom" where gay people were commiting sodomy on the streets. but most of the time Homosexuals have remained in hiding beacuse it is not the societal norm to be gay. Well Gay activists are on the rise now and pretty soon we straight people will be the odd ones out. For centuries the bigger and better part of a population have been straight. Nowadays people want something new something different in all aspects of life. We want to colour our hair green we want to pierce all our pieces of dangling flesh, Lick em carpets and want to be anally assaulted (no offense if you get pleasure do it). Bisexuals are a different story altogether, i mean if you are turned on by a woman why tip over to the dark side....Well to each his own i aint perfect so i cant really judge...just stating my opinion.

But if its hormonal the individual is really helpless..I mean can it really be helped??

Well our religion has no exceptions for homosexuals, Boy george is still gonna be judged as a man no matter how much make up he wears, or even if "Your colours can light my dreams". It can never be natural eventhough it is acceptable. They cant reproduce can they... But i am thankful for all the gay fashion designers and musicans and artists for their famiculine touch.

Orgies and group sex sessions give birth to homosexuals too. Let me not even go into the subject of drug addicts who abuse their own. It is not cool or exciting...more like sickening...

But i have a lot of gay friends some of em even married and livin happily ever after(in this world). A friend is a friend i cant be bothered by their sexuality(Stand up comics would have less jokes to crack if all of us were straight). Just keep doing what you think is right. "Do ye thang lemme do my THANG- which is having amazing straight sex"

A CHANGE HAS COME

2007-02-28T19:51:00.000-08:00

Caution: This article maybe a tab bit self involved

I used to love coloring my hair, experimenting with different colours of contact lenses, a cut here a cut there, a perm here a perm there....basically being anything but myself. Honestly i curled my hair twice, straightened my hair once, did a rebonding job once, coloured my hair like a gazillion times, pierced my ears till my lobes had no more space left, got a tattoo(a teeny weeny one). I was sorta like the Master of disguise for quite sometime(hiding from what exactly????beats me)...well i know there are loads more folk more extreme than me...but they are not the concern here its all about moi this time(this is my blog biatch).

Recently...very recently with more than a little help from my significant otherrrr (Eedhan Ashraf thats you baby) i have discovered that i look better as myself. With black wavy hair, dark brown eyes, bushy eye brows(doesnt sound too good..hhehe)......I've even come to enjoy wearing my hideous specs for cying out loud. Before there was no way anyone could drag me out without my colored contacts on(Pretentious, fake bitch) . But the new and improved Nisa couldnt care less.

I like being myself its cheaper, safer and less work...

Viva La Resistance

STOP

2007-02-26T22:28:00.000-08:00

Growing up sucks!!!!really, it just sucks.....oooh i dream of a simpler time when mum and dad had to do all the worrying and i just had to carry on living...without a care. But life is so unfair without any warning it just snatches your innocense, your free time, your sleep, your virgnity...heheheh.

Sometimes i really wish i was born in the stone ages..yes i know there was no make up less choice of clothes no cd's or portable music players(i may have to rethink my statements). But no amount of handbags and gladrags compares to the luxury of freedom from employment. While the government is trying to put an end to the plague that is unemployment, with their "yes" campaign, i am fighting for it. A curse on the romans for inventing money and making people work for it. I only do it because it is the only way i can afford to satiate my yearning to shop and eat out. i mean who would really work if they didnt have a need to? does Paris hilton work..Well if you call making porn and trying make an aboslute whore of herself, yes she does work all night long..AAh remember the good ol days of having pocket money.....dang...

I for one have two jobs, one of which i aboslutely enjoy a 100%(cause theres not much effort involved)...that is except when i have to fill in for others. So i guess Artistes(including musicians and other talents) are exceptional cases cause they get paid for doing what they love.

NEWS FLASH..........Maumoon has rebuilt the Noah's Ark but this time its called the Youth Ship. Instead of carrying a pair of every living creature on earth, this "Youth Ship" or "floating Looney Bin" as i'd like to call it will carry on board the whackiest most immoral Individual from each Atoll. Well I just hope that they do not decide to blow the rest of us up and repopulate the earth by procreating from onboard the "FLB". Dont fret boys and girls I'll go and sink the ship with my own bare hands if i have to....but seriously we should all sign a petition begging maumoon to check himself into Guraidhoo before things get too out of hand....seriously a Youth Ship...What next the "Geriatric Lorry".......

GOD SAVE US

When life comes and kicks you in the nuts

Just save your if only's and buts

Close your eyes pretend nothings wrong

And sing another feel good song

(for you brother beequas)

Mwah mwah

Boohoo

2007-02-20T23:33:00.000-08:00

Us girls are cry babies arent we....(i feel kinda fresh after a lil snob n sniff) but its really a spectacle when grown men cry. Mostly men either smoke it off, sleep it off, work it off or turn it into rage...........in the case of Kutty and wajeeh dance it off.

Btw this article does not apply to boys with a medical condition or those of yall who tend to tip on the happy and "gay side"(no offense) cos i know you ladies like to let it all out.

I think it is a rare, heartfelt and beautiful phenomenon. I mean how often have you seen a man cry? once in a year? 2 years? Shame on me, but i've lived with my two brothers since forever but i have only managed to make one of em cry(I will not name the brother but it wasnt abe oops!!). I accidentally hit his balls while trying to win an argument. (yes you are right in assuming i always resort to either violence or water works when trying to win an argument, thats why i cant run for President....the only reason hehehe.....right).

Getting back to the issue at hand, at times i cannot help but feel a strange sense of satisfaction when i see a stream of salty tears run down a supposedly emotionless wooden face(depending on the situtation though).

But boys!boys! taint cool to keep your feelings locked up let your boohoos out and you'll feel a lot better. Really! emotional baggage weighs you down in the long run.

Wait! no dont, i do not want to responsible for catalysing the effects of global warming. just imagine the amount of tears it will produce if all the men in the world who have their tears saved for all this time start weeping all at once. noooooooooooooooooooo........

Conclusion

So in conclusion i have yet again managed to waste about a mins or three mins (for slow readers) of your time..Uhahahahaha

i Miss you Noosh..mwah

EVERYBODY HURTS -REM

When the day is long and the night,
the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life,
well hang onDon't let yourself go,
'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong.
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone,
(hold on, hold on)If you feel like letting go,
(hold on)When you think you've had too much of this life,
well hang on'Cause everybody hurts.
Take comfort in your friendsEverybody hurts.
Don't throw your hand.
Oh, no. Don't throw your handIf you feel like you're alone, no, no, no,
you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life,
the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries.
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes.
So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts.
You are not alone

Lil Bangladesh

2007-02-16T21:51:00.000-08:00

Aloha peeps, didja miss me?

Oooh i lurrve fridays i had so much fun...enough sleep, tanning and a dip in a blue lagoon with my baby.

But on Thursday night i had the most terrifying nightmare. There i was walking on a long stretch of road, when a faceless friend came on a motor bike. For some strange reason i asked my friend to let me have a spin on it. Strange you ask, well I dont even know how to ride a bike properly so its not the most natural thing for me to do. but hell! I'm talking about a dream so its all hunky dory. I got on it started driving, just enjoying myself until i took what was a wrong turn and ended up in a dark alley. Out of nowehere there appeared a bangladeshi guy there was no one around and the guy looked so creepy i started pushing the accelerator(in my dream the accelerator was the right pedal, in real life i have no idea). But everytime i looked behind to see if I'd lost the scarey stranger he was running right behind me. Suddenly the stupid bike stopped and the man was all smiles. He was reaching out to touch me when i woke up. I was so fucking scared my heart was racing.........the stupid nigtmare was almost too real. I had to be reassured a thousand times over by my baby before i could lay me down to sleep. It still makes me sick and gives me shivers when i think about the dream. Thank god i woke up when i had otherwise i might have had a permenant psychological effect.

If you follow my blog you might know i get dreams that materiliaze. (I am doing all i can to avoid this latest addition coming true....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek). but as i was walking to my boyfriends house (with my headphones on -let the music play remix) i found that i was an alien in my own home town. Beleive it or not but i was the only maldivian on the road. bangaldeshi's, tamils and Thai folk as far as the eye could see....

In the past foreign workers didnt have the balls to even look at us with bad intentions. Instead they were satisfied with holding hands with their co workers regardless of their gender(i just had to add that). but now since they outnumbers us they hoot and gape and drool and even beat themselves off in public.......................Seriously it wont be long before they start violating and raping us(there already have been cases). That would be the day i pack up and leave Male' for good.

And the saddest part is that theres no solution. More work sites and more development means more foreign employees. there is no proper screening process so we dont know how many child molesters, rapists and serial killers we are welcoming here with open arms.

Alas! i cannot write anymore my hands are giving up on me....

Ciao

DJ DAddy

2007-02-11T19:48:00.000-08:00

Hey lovers and haters sista's and brothers, granmas and pas.....if you've seen the flyer for the GIGa whatever event thats gonna go down at "City Garden' you might be wondering:

DADDY? DADDY?

WHO THE FUCK IS DADDY?

("Who the fuck is Alice"-Torpedos)

Look no further i know who he is.......aha thats right i do. Normally i would try to get some remuneration for this kinda priviledged info but i'll be "nice" this time and let ya all know. And plus i think nobody should waste their time pondering over who daddy is n be like all excited(taint worth it) just to be hella disappointed..... i simply cant have that on my conscience.

You might think daddy is some whip lashing, Cat Walking, ass baring sexy diva who'll make you GIGA GAGA (more than a kilo Gaga), you are sadly mistaken. Life was so much more beautiful when i was mystified by who Dj Daddy was. but Alas ! woe is me, curiosity has shot me down yet again. I shall now save the whole world from suffering the same fate as me:

DJ DADDy

This aint no joke

he is that bloke

he aint no fuckin fairy

but he is very hairy

Now then, have it your way

Its DJ--PAiDay

Super Nisa's Inner Monologue:

Scene: flying over Male'

AAaaah I have saved the world yet again.......its a much safer place now.......All in a days work......I wonder whats next for me.........I cant choose between ridding the world from rebonding, wearing faggy shirts, burugaas.............

GUchigooogoooo PLONK......watch out you fuckin pigeons!!!!!!!!!

Note: You can buy the illustrated version from www.eyesore.com.mv

GOTcha

THE END

Love, Sweet Love

2007-02-10T19:33:00.000-08:00

Valentines day is on the horizon and instead of seeing stars i am seeeing hearts. One might wonder why i am so excited for a christian celebration. I am all for the celebrations whether it be Christian, Buddhist, sikh or even scientology(I wonder what sort of days they have-chemistry day, I have to call Tom and ask). Its an excuse to party and make merry. Plus I really do have faith in the concept behind Valentines days. Bless you! Saint Valentine. Its a chance to celebrate "love" for crying out loud(Idy i love you).

For the first time in 23 years i have someone to celebrate Valentines with. Sorry bqwas, dad and abe you aint getting Valentines day cards from a very sad me. Infact i'll be floating in the air with the love of my life.

I have a thing or two to say at people who think that Valentines day is just another day. I mean yeah "Duh"it is obviously just another day. Just like Eid and New Years is just another day. It is the name we give to a 24 hr period. But since theres a clear label and theme to it why shouldnt we celebrate it. Well i know why some of us might be like "Valentines day ewww Crap", its b'cos theres nobody to celebrate it with beleive you me, i was there since forever. But i still sent out cards to all the men in my life, dad n the hunky sexy brothers of mine. You should get up offfa that couch and try it too (watching reruns of "Bridget Jones's Diary" aint gonna lift up your spirits at all)

Heres a lil heads up....DJ Manal is going to be setting your soles(yes the soles of your feet) on fire this Wednesday at Skippy. Guess who is going to be there on the dance floor dressed in red? Well me. And i want all of yall to come and celebrate "LOVE" with me.(Chikungunya, chicken pox, soar eyes, Bird flu, dengue and measles please leave Idy n me alone)

Heres my theme song for the night

Artist: Alanis Morissette

LyricsSong:Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love) Lyrics

birds do it, bees do it

even educated fleas do it let's do it,

let's fall in love

in spain, the best upper sets do

it lithuanians and lets do it let's do it,

let's fall in love

the dutch in old amsterdam do it

not to mention the finns folks in siam do it

think of siamese twins some argentines,

without means, do it

people say, in boston, even beans do it

let's do it, let's fall in love

romantic sponges, they say, do itoysters, down in oyster bay, do itlet's do it, let's fall in love

cold cape cod clams, against their wish, do it

even lazy jellyfish do itlet's do it, let's fall in love

electric eels, i might add, do it

though it shocks 'em, i know.why ask if shad do it

waiter, bring me shad roe. in shallow shoals, english soles do it

goldfish, in the privacy of bowls, do it

let's do it, let's fall in love

FOOD FUSS

2007-02-07T21:12:00.000-08:00

It takes a lot of "BAD" food for a glutton like me to become aneroxic. But sadly this is the situation in Male'. Every godforsaken night i try and find something palatable to satiate my hunger and i end up puking afterwards.

DOLPHIN: I cant eat there ever since Manal had an "encounter at the counter" beleive me you dont wanna know the details. hint: futile attempt at homosexual multi-tasking.

LILY's: not the most desirable menu and the coffee is stale.

THAI-WOK: Used to do the trick for me but sadly the food there isnt as good as it used to be. the concept of quality control is still almost non existent over here.

LIGHT HOUSE: Its alright at light house, the desserts are desirable, but they do overuse some ingredients like spinach and Garlic on the main course which leaves and after taste and makes you gassy. LH is guranteed to get you good and broke and that never was good for anyone.

SALSA-CAFE'/ROYALE: really dissapointing/the portions are just sickeningly small.

WEST PARK: All i know is that its not the food that makes people go to West park. Sometimes i wonder if they have chefs in there. They prolly have trained monkeys working round the clock. Lolly Jabir you've gone and done it again.

FOOD GARDEN: I used to have an "8' oclock chicken leg rush" before which dragged me to food garden come hell or high water. Unfortunately the service there sucketh to the max now. There's no gravy to top the mash 'tatoes...the chicken is served blue not the best of ideas especially since the H5N1 virus is going around.

SEAGULL: You never know when some natural topping might drop from the sky...I aint kidding really....Bats have blessed me more than once......

JADE BISTRO: Its too damn pretentious and doesnt allow smoking. I hate going to places where i have to sit up straight and lower my voice.

In the end we're just left with the harbour points. At least you dont expect much from these dives, leaves no room for dissapointment...and ofcourse theres always Mamma's garudhiya and bai....

So GAWK...SPUUTEEERRR EWWW EWWW

CAN YOU FEEL THE BEAT

2007-02-05T23:50:00.000-08:00

Backed by popular demand i am back again with a new post(Actually just b-qwas,Shiuna, Ameen and my honey bunny). This time I need a vote from all you people who read my blog: I wanna know if listening to music on the road is a "hazard" to yourself and the people around you or a an "Essential Accompaniment". One thing is certain i cant walk anywhere "alone" without my head set on.

Here are some plus points of using an mp3 player or I-pod on the road:

You can feel the beat and walk faster, it really seems like you get to where you're going sooner.

you can block out the whistling and hollering from the monkeys on the road

Stay in touch with your favorite artists.........learn the lyrics and stuff

Appreciate your surroundings, really, music adds a lot of colour to this droll place (try it and see)

REALLY KEEPS YOU GOING ON A LONG DAY

And here's the negative side:

You dont hear the vehicles honking behind you.(i've narrowly escaped from being hit by a car about 5 times). But this only applies to Maldivians because we do not have the luxury of pavements on some roads.

People can sneak up behind you very easily.

Music has the power of toying with your emotions so there is the fear of getting too sensitive for the rest of the world

And I've had people call me a "tight ass bitch" cos i dont holler back (I'd have to come down to earth first wouldnt i?)

And for the record I wouldnt have to write this article if life was a Hindi movie there'd always be an orchestra waiting to play a lil summin summin to fit my mood. heheheh

Anyway tell me what you think?

Much love

"Sea house", a Tribal dj and cigarettes

2007-01-31T19:27:00.000-08:00

For those of you who aren't desperately looking for a place to escape from the usual drudgery of bad ambience and stale coffee "Sea house" might seem like a typing error. Well I can't give you the pleasure of correcting me....well not today. "Sea house" is a newly opened coffehouse up on top of the..........should i give away the location? It was already infiltrated by out of place stiffs last night anyway...so what the hell. Yeah its on top of the Hulhumale' ferry terminal overlooking the sea. Right now it is the perfect place to chill out (chill has been used in the usual context here) although they could have done a better job with the chairs. This wont be for long though, already the usual faces have started to stream in and it wont seem so welcoming after a while. No amount of good lighting and chocochino can block out the pretentious crowd that Male' so proudly houses. If you dont agree with me just try and name one place in Male' that you'd like to hang out in everyday of the week........anbody? i didnt think so. Oh yeah and before i forget.........i've found a another very icky reason to stay clear of Pizzeria. Apparently the seat covers in Pizzeria havent been changed since the opening and to add to that the bangladeshi staff who work there sleep on em. Yes they sweat and drool and do the nasty on em. I am not on the "Sea house" payroll, creating bad publicity for Pizzeria, but just trying to be the good samaritan who saves our teeny population from STD's, mites,rashes and little bangaladeshi bastards popping out of nowhere(word has it that there swimmers live longer than usual).

Tommorow night theres going to be a tribal dj on the "Crab floor" at "Dolphin". Slap me for being so "out" but i had no idea that the floor at Dolphin had a name let alone one as original as the Crab floor(If only they'd serve great crab there-guess the name will just have to do). Tickets are going for 75 i hear, wild horses couldnt stop me from being there on the 2nd. No matter how crabby the floor maybe "Dj. Manal" and "Sector 9"(no no sector 9 isnt a robot they imported from korea to buddy up with Manal its our lil Nai) are gonna be setting the roof on fire. Flashback from the last dj i went to at dolphin...."Porn on big screen-with the techno version of my heart will go on". Porn and Celine dont go very well together people try snoop dogg, Nelly or fittty cents. the poster says "tribal" theme but we all know that the concept of a theme is wasted on the usual crowd. but I'mana put on my grass skirt, coconut shell bra and feather head dress for the night...hehehehe but then i'd have to find a way to climb down from the 9th floor without my mum seeing me. I can just see a picture of me on the front page of "Haveeru' climbing down a rope with the Caption:"Woman from Minikaaraajey chooses death rope over the elevator ". But in all seriousness all of yall please be there with your dancing shoes on.

The price for Ciggies, particularly Camels the only smokable sticks around has been raised by fifty laari. Cmon we all know that people are gonna smoke even if they cost 10 rf a stick.....i mean seriously whose great idea is this. It better not be another plan to leech out money from us for "Save the maumoon" fund. The last president who tried to mess with the smoker population had to really pay for his actions. So i might suggest retracing your steps......

Oh yeah!! its true that i maybe be a prophet or prophetina (like the feminine touch?) cos another one of my dreams came true......scarey shit

TATA

BELLS!!!

2007-01-28T03:39:00.000-08:00

Tommorow is gonna be my friend lauza's big wedding day. She used to be the wierdest most thuiest creature on the face of the earth until my sister QT was born (this morning mum walked in on her wearing a crown and snapping pictures early in the morning-god only knows for what occasion) Lauza has the most "unique"voice, if i may say so, out of anyone i have ever met. And she is one of the few who has defied time and distance to have been born and brought up in male' but act and look totally Indian. You have to see it to beleive it, trust me. The theme of the wedding is going to be Indian which is just soo surprising.

But getting down to the point at hand. I've tried to brace myself and listen out for joyous wedding bells but all I can hear at present is a funeral dirge. And i know why, cos i cant stand you know who...I am not going to name the lil Nerd cause i have seen the revenge of the nerds and do not want a taste of what they can do brrrrrrrrr. Guys you know..............no matter how much time passes between school days and the present the Bully-nerd rift still tends to stick. I havent ever attacked him or anything but theres that chemistry(i hope y'all are feeling me on this). Lauza has had a series of geeks in her lifetime enough to haunt her for 7 seven life times, Afthim to name one (sympathy hook up number 3) but this time she has decided to walk the walk with one. (quas you made me do this-if i am going down you are going down with me).

Come the evening of 29th january 2007 one very wierd lil nerd is going to be ecstatic. I hope this is going to be the last time that anyone of my friends will bridge the way for a nerd to crossover to our world. (idhee if you read this post dont love me less umah- i can be a bit of a bitch). Maybe i am just being protective of a close friend......shucks who am i kidding i just dont approve of him. I was invited for the wedding ceremony but i am scared to go. What if i take my stand when they say....if anyone has a reason why these two should not be united in holy wedlock(or whatever they say in male'. I could give birth to the Fullooniyaamagu ripper. Shit! and he is on the road to being a doctor, all the more reason for me not to write this. buuttttt caannnntttt ccoooonnttrroollll the floooowwwwww urrrghhhhh!!!

The really twisted thing about this article is the fact that:

I am the maid of honour.

And I'ma be the only mourner

Cos its just too hard to take in

a real disaster in the makin

I am treading on really thin ice but I just had to do this. Somethings in life are just worth the risk. Now i am going to just stop myself before i go overboard with this.

Zipppppppppppppp

Talking Dirty- from the memoirs of a sex guru(me)

2007-01-23T21:21:00.000-08:00

Before I start up with the whole talking durrty topic i just wanna let you all in on the fact that a harrassment law has been passed in Male'. And as a result my sister Rania who gets complimented insulted and oogled over is going to be filthy rich. But sadly we cant get away with calling the cops names and ever since the law was passed there are a shit load of cops on the roads. Next thing you know they'll be wearing name tags with Golhaabo on it.(Yes, Maumoon is more provocative than Madonna in her like a virgin days ). So be careful my niggas......

Talking Durrty really fuels up all sexual activity. Some of us might feel like its lame but it really heats things up. Talking durrty involves telling your partner(baiveriyaa-i just had to say that) how you feel when he/she does something for you, where to move next, what you'd like to do for him/her. Beequas eventhough you are my biggest fan and your bound to find this entry to be TMI i know you'll still read it so i'll try to tone it down a bit and be less graphical.

Recently i have been talking dirrty and the sex has become explosive. It feels like starring in your own porn production. And we all love porn especially those of us involved in Herbal medicine.....say Naja. (Oh my sisters baby was trying to say popcorn and ended up saying Porn instead and quas you missed it). Talking dirrty will only work if your partner reciprocates. Otherwise you'll just end up looking really stupid. But if your mouth is busy and your on the brink of an orgasm theres no need to interrupt the flow just making a noise would do. The consequences of interrupting a climax could prove to be fatal......beleive you me.

So please dont knock it till you've tried it...........

I will make more entries on how to improve your sex life in the future, all for the betterment of the Maldivian society. I have seen most of the mainstream porn and it really doesnt do anything for me or anyone i know. So guys if your doing it ,why dont you do it right?......

Make love not War people

and Ameen if your a fan please dont be shy, just comment on my entries will ya

Ronan! I hate you

2007-01-21T03:22:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since i last updated my blog. I've been caught up with work and my boyfriend(i did not write this sentence to show off that i have a boyfriend-eventhough i have a superior smile on my face-In your face single people). But please do keep reading.

How could he? that Tyrant. I was just going to chillax and watch some quality music videos when all of a sudden this white beach came on screen, and then a lil speck of a man started singing something that's truly going to be the end of him. Ronan Keating sang Iris orginally performed by the googoo dolls for the movie City of Angels. And it was the gayest most disgraceful cover in the history of mankind. Who gave him the right to violate such a beautiful piece of work. i had to wash my ears with surgical spirit to remove the excess crap it left behind. And to make things worse he even made a gay lil video. As a result i have been forced to wear glasses now....woe is me!!! I really am very dissapointed in the man who signed over the copy rights for such a horrific act.

I was a bit ticked off about the Barry manilow remake but could have lived with it. i mean he can keep singing all he wants in his gay corner of the earth i bare no ill will towards people like him. But Iris grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...bite bite scratch scratch..........(somebody sedate me). You cant blame me for overreacting cos i willy willy love that song........I am worried i might love it less now.......noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only due punishment i can think of for Ronan is to remove the lifts from his shoes, make Baree sing one of his songs and let Suneetha and Azey star in the video wearing catsuits and watch it on big screen over and over and over.................

There is simply no other solution for this abomination. period

THE SHINING

2007-01-10T03:04:00.000-08:00

Two days back i dreamt that one of my Great Aunty's died......i told my mum bout it and this morning mum called to tell me that same Aunt was in the ICU(which means i'll see you). If that is not divine intuition i dont know what is...This is not the first time that i've had such revelations. Oddly enough last night i dreamt of Yoope(yes the movie star hehehehe) flipping his Oh! so real straight hair back and telling me about the tides. I hope this dream never comes true. I simply cannot live in a world where intelligent people star in dhivehi movies(I'll check into the ICU before that).

Leaving the dreams aside, most of the time when i really want something to go a certain way it ends up working out for me. My Mama did say that all doors on earth would open for the devils play mates. So it kinda scares me as well. She also said that only the pure can sense whats in the offing. So i guess i am a saint and a sinner- all in one.

But i gotta hand it to you normal folks it is rather scarey to have powers like mine(trying to be as modest as i can here). Nothing ever comes as a surpise heheh.... Donald trump I know your planning on buying me a Ferrari-just a tip my dear i dunno how to drive so chip in for the driver as well, wont set you back at all.

If anyone of yall have any powers lemme know so we can make a league of extraordinary dudes.

xxxxxxxx0000xxxxxxx

FILTRATION

2007-01-08T02:10:00.000-08:00

Eventhough i am all for partying and sex i am very much against prostitution and gang banging. (fan of strippers though and porn) All you ho's out there eventhough you are a much needed part of every society please keep your activities at a low. And please wear less normal clothes to help distinguish ladies from sluts. i aint gonna resort to mideival solutions and ask you to wear a scarlet letter. Instead you could go for fish nets(plentiful here since we are a fishin nation) and loud colours like red, yellow..........stage make up and so on. Cos pig in the form of men are disrespecting all of us. Hootin at us from the roadside grabbing our hands. Since you girls like to be grabbed and groped for a lil sum' in sum' in make yourselves known, so the rest of us can walk around freely.

This subject also brings me back to an old topic the "hijaab". some folks over here think that whoever doesnt wear the damn thing is walking around naked asking to be fucked. When in nature fact most of the concubines here wear it to hide hickies and unwanted buns in the oven. well people can think whatever they hell they want. It becomes my problem when they call you up and stalk you in the hopes of some action.

so all you girls aspiring to become hookers, call girls or high class escorts please think twice cos your actions will reflect on all women kind....i just get sooooo worked up when i hear some people say "HUS BAdin"its not fair to us tight ass bitches who wont put out for every john............

My Nicks

2007-01-07T01:13:00.000-08:00

Nope!! nope!! i do not regard Nick carter or Nick cage as my own i just wanted to talk bout nick names....

I used to hate my actual nick name "kanbu", short for "don kanbulo"(for those of you who aren't maldivian i am not a mafia drug lord don- means fair and kanbulo is sorta like sweet girl..baah )cos its so uncool. And i am neither fair nor sweet. I guess my mum's a big fan of irony. My dad used to call me hussein up until my boobs became too obvious, cos he thought i was gonna be born a boy...but thats another story all together. All my bro's and sista's have such cool nick names, qt, bb, abe, fana, nani.......... but i thank god for "kanbu" now cos my older brother had wanted to call me dhothooo (how could i have lived with that). ABE- if you are readin this, please let someone else name your child if you want the child to have a peaceful life.

My baby Idy calls me baby and faraataa(very orginal i know). Abe calls me pest now...beequas calls me BOO...fine calls me dhaba...faxoo dubbed me NEE (which kinda took sometime to grow on me). Hashim calls me Nisaanu....Tia calls me Bicholo.....strangers call me nisHa with the extra H...yana doesnt call me anything yet (we have a few issues).....kids on radio and JILL call me Nisatha...shaal calls me naal....naja calls me poochy puff......toy calls me Taz...Sein calls me queen size.....thitha calls me bulo....it willy doesnt bother me at all anymore.. cos i know that they'd only take the time to come up with these names cos they Love me.....n i love you back all the same.....so be creative.....

Peace Out

BTW THE DP U C THERE IS THE WORK OF KUBS

Ode to Actifed syrup

2007-01-03T19:52:00.000-08:00

Half a bottle of Actifed syrup

guaranteed to stir things up

Worried that a chesty cough might bring you down

Down this syrup it'll take you for a ride 'round town

so if your looking for a safe way to get high

Fellas, wave all your worries goodbye

Cos actified syrup is here for you

Dont just buy one buy two

(that is if you can beat me to the pharmacy)

by: Nisa Latheef

ITS ALL IN THE HEAD

2006-12-31T23:20:00.000-08:00

Here's something i've discovered ( peeps might have discovered this already though) but i have come to find that everything is how you make it out to be. You can choose to be happy, angry or even sad in any situation.

I mean someone could come you and screw you from behind and you could choose to let it pass. smile and let it pass, while under normal circumstances you would choose to hang the offender(I am not hinting on Saddam commiting Sodomy although the name rhymes.....please religious fanatics dont come after me again). But why do we not do that? and make life easier.I dont know the answer to that myself, cause i do have my highs, lows and Bitch Fits. Us humans are so complex aren't we. Sometimes i get a certain sick pleasure in being a bit of a drama queen. At other times i like to be super cool and not mind anything at all. go figure!!

Its all about choices...if you have the luxury of choice, things get durrttyy and complicated. Depending on which road you take.

But all of us have to remember that the choices that we make affect the people around us. People that you probably don't wanna hurt(yes u are right in assuming that i am telling myself all this).

AAh well thats that...............sorry for wasting...2 mins of your time on this entry that you thought might make some sense and in the end it didnt....to make up for that here is a huge New YEar KIssy

ummmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

oh yeah i have to write this before i can move on....last night my band of pirates n me went to a "supposed" pirate theme party. No one made the effort to dress up, or perhaps it didnt occur to them that a theme involves dressing up...I've already made peace with the fun levels of most of my folk. A piece of advise from me (this is very rare right bro-because people dont listen to me) could be your New Years resolution.

"STOP CARING WHAT PEOPLE THINK"

HEY PREACHER! LEAVE US GALS ALONE!!

2006-12-26T03:17:00.000-08:00

I am back again this time with a vengeance...

WHAT DO THESE EXTREMISTS HAVE AGAINST US WOMEN?
I mean think people, without the luxury of your mums womb you wouldnt be here. Wasn't that J-lo's butt you were staring at yesterday ? (women asking to be exploited-another issue i might blog about if i can be bothered). Dont you think we deserve a lil more respect. Why do you want to wrap us up in black, shut us up throw away the key, and just use us as sex and baby making machines. WHAT IS THE FUN IN THAT? God made everything for a reason. Why shouldnt we flaunt our assets? Should we just come into the world, give birth and then just fade away into oblivion? Shouldnt we be allowed to leave a mark, make a difference......enjoy life a bit? Is it fair to be so objectified

I thank the good lord for not being born in Saudi Arabia, at least i can wear a mini-skirt here(ignoring the looks from judgmental psychopaths). Since the better part of the female population here have started garbing themselves in the "Hijaab"(Eventhough i hate the concept i like the name so i just had to add that in) I asked someone who i thought might have been able to convince me to wear one. Well i read the stuff, seems it protects us women for being judged based on looks blah blah blah. Isn't it the same for men...i'd vote for Josh hartnett anytime of the day, while i would never come hell or high water vote for someone like Abishek bachan. I just dont see the point of wearing a veil in this extreme heat..well maybe to make a fashion statement. You know i could go on and on and on bout this.
One of these days i am going to build a time machine (as a favor to my bearded brothers and Ninja sisters) and jet them off to the past where they'd fit right in.
Oh and one more thing.....no one is in any position to question anothers faith.
LIVE and LET LIVE
and bless my brother beequas for defending por defenseless me from the vicious attacks of a fellow blogger....who no doubt checked me out(aint that a fact). Cos face it buddy u are only human, only difference between you n me is i got class....................respect!!

My Kingdom for a Night Club

2006-12-20T03:19:00.000-08:00

Good Lord!!
Where are the children of the night???!! the dancers in the dark(with disco lighting)??!! i command you all to come forward and embrace this time of the year (the best excuse to let loose) and have as many party's as you can. Make it happen, get it started. What the hell are we waiting for? ye know at times like these i hate maumoon, for being soo square. Why the fuck can't we have a night club? Surely it would be feasible...i know so many party people on the look out for a haunt willing to pay good money for it. Money that is being wasted at Pizzeria, Seagull and West Park contributing to the wealth of people like Lollypop Jaabir who will probably waste it on some slut kiss her and ye know balaabodu n all that jazz. If the fundamentalists have a problem with opening a disco they can come talk to me...i'll set them straight(yes i am using straight both ways stupid gay bastards). Maumoon i know you read my blog so heres the low down people are doing drugs, getting drunk, dancing and hallelujah! screwing around in your lil play house. So what difference is a few night clubs gonna make. If you want to still project the image of running a 100% muslim country then name the club Yaa layla or habeebee(i'm a genius arent i) trust me noone will be the wiser.
Its such a crying shame that us working class girls n boys dont have anywhere to chill and blow off some steam. Same old coffee shops day in day out. It took some work but i have made peace with the fact that i have to see the same faces everywhere i go!!! since Male' only stretches for 3 feet. But the same drudgery of having nowhere to strut my stuff is seriously too much to ask from me.
I was not engineered that way...

SO PLEASE ....SOMEONE HERE MY PLEA AND OPEN A CLUB

n guys check out my brothers blog http://hamzahblog.blogspot.com

btw i havent received any checks or cash for my fund....por por unfortunate me

QT

2006-12-17T01:12:00.000-08:00

This time around i'd like to share with you one of my very priceless possesions, my sister cutie. I have quite a few siblings, my mum and dad did there bit for the planet(amen) dont worry ya'll wont have to read bout everyone one of em. i chose phil(another name for my sista) as my subject cos she is so wonderfully wierd.

Seems people born under the star sign pisces are dreamers....well according to my observations dreamers could be the understatment of the century. Let me elaborate if i may......This is how a normal day would pass for Ms. Cutie pie

-Wake up at about 4.00 noon and pause infront of the mirror for about 30 mins or just sit infront of the mirror and pout for no reason at all...

-Go to the kitchen and make a cup of coffee....n then sit infront of the tv with it as someone might in a very big meeting or perhaps infront of the crown prince of England

-Try on all the clothes in her closet listening to music and dancing all the while.......only talking back to people when they talk to her....she makes the best analogies...

-Might suddenly sit on the kitchen counter sedutively and smile(i really dont know what goes on in her pretty head,i could have sworn she was flirting with a roll of tape just the other day)

- Might sleep again in the evening if she doesnt have her daily dose of caffeine.

-Put on some arab influenced make up and cat walk her way to the tuck shop next door........she has the magical power in her ass to stop traffic and all pedestrians when she passes.....and this aint no exaggeration.

-Have a photo shoot with her mobile phone inside the bathroom. cos the lighting is best there...

-later at night she goes online and breaks hearts of young and old alike

-oh yeah strictly prays five times a day which really does not fit in with other activites...but i aint complainin........

One of these days i am gonna make a home video of her and share this beautiful freak with the world....

I LOVE U BABY GIRL

Heres a song that i used to think complimented me but i guess it goes better for you koksy

BEAUTIFUL FREAK-EELS

Youre such a beautiful freak/I wish there were more just like you/Youre not like all of the others/And that is why I love you/Beautiful freak, beautiful freak/That is why I love you/Beautiful freak, beautiful freak/Some people think you have a problem/But that problem lies only with them/Just cause you are not like the others/But that is why I love you/Beautiful freak, beautiful freak/Yeah that is why I love you/Beautiful freak, beautiful freak/Too good for this world/But I hope you will stay/And Ill be here to see that you dont fade away/Youre such a beautiful freak/I bet you are flying inside/Dart down and then go for cover/And know that I love you/Beautiful freak/You know that I love you/Beautiful freak, beautiful freak

2006-12-15T21:15:00.000-08:00

Oh my god(in an african accent)!! i am so nervous, this is my first time blogging...if thats what they call it. Kinda makes me wanna know who made the first blog spot. ye know what comes into my mind when i think blog spot(apart from bogu the maldivian word for shit) serial killers and missing teens.
Lemme tell you a lil bout meself...i am sure bout nothing......i've no worries......no faith.......no regrets.......no secrets..........no loose ends........what i've got is.......credit card bills thanks to my addiction to shopping.............the best family.........a boyfriend(idhee) recent addition...........an eye infection........a job.......n loads of love to give.
This year has turned out to be rather eventful... but i feel like next years gonna be dabomb cos me boo's(bqwas) coming and sugar is gonna be born. Hopefully dad is gonna get married and move out so we can move on. but the downside is i'm gonna ave miles miles between my baby n me..bwaaaah....oh yes i hafto mention that i have an older, louder slightly more intelligent version of me her names mum and she is perfect. I have three fighting fish shiuna,kashif and usaid(lovely names of lovely peeps in my life) and a turtle who in a matter of days i will handover to AZ cos she keeps stinking up the whole house..oh and yes i love fluffy cats...what i willy willy wanna do in life is get so stinking rich i don't ever have to wake up when i am sleepy....so everyone who visits my blog pls be kind enuff to donate 5 dollars towards the "please dont wake nisa" foundation.